The Old You

I went for a walk and saw no one on the way until I spotted a neighbor I had not meant before. We stayed a careful distance apart, but I could tell she was eager to talk. She expressed her amazement with all that is happening in our country between the pandemic and demonstrations. She proudly announced that she is 90 years old and finds it curious that all the “young people” are expecting things to go back to the way they were before all these things started to happen. Then she wisely said, “You know, things will never go back. They will never be the same.”

This conversation reminded me of how many of the grieving people I talk to mention that they want things to be the way they were before, or they want things to return to normal, but as my new friend said, that’s not going to happen. In reflecting on my own situation, I realized I do not want anything to go back because I know I am right where I am supposed to be right now, living in this moment.

I spent a great deal of my younger life living in a world of “if only.”  I thought if only I could have children, if only I could graduate from college, if only I could be married to someone I shared unconditional love with, if only I had more money, and on and on. Wherever I was wasn’t where I thought I wanted to be. All these things actually came to pass, and as they did, instead of celebrating and enjoying what I accomplished, I slipped into yearning for the next thing that could change my life if only I had it.

I am at a place now when I recognize that where I am in this moment is exactly where I want to be, and I am grateful. Yet now I am looking beyond just me to the rest of the world. What I see is confusion, anger, disappointment, suffering, and grief. This is not the ideal world I wanted to live in. I do see our world is waking up not only to the possibility of but the necessity of change.

We can’t go back to the way things were, to the comfort of living in our own isolation, self-absorbed with our individual desires and beliefs. I do see people learning what racism actually is an what can be done about it. I do see people demonstrating their desire for change, for peace, for governess based on love. I do see people working on accessible voting for all so that we all have a voice in this change. I do see essential workers making great sacrifices for the rest of us. I see compassion demonstrated on a larger scale than has been done before.

We have started a revolution in America like none other. As we wake up, my dream is to live in a world of unconditional love. No more hate. No more fear. Is this possible? I say yes, yet lots of change has to come in the process. No, we don’t want to go back to the old us, to the way things were before. We can work together to make everything the very best it can be. We can each commit, right now, to actively do whatever we can to make our country a place to be proud of. To make our world a safe place to life together.

Are you ready? Let’s make it happen!

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