I was grieving when someone told me about the importance of gratitude. My reaction was, “Ya, right. What do I have to be thankful for since my husband died, and I am all alone?” I did think about it though. Maybe there was something there? I admit I had been pretty self-centered, feeling sorry for myself and my sorry life. Yet the more I thought about it, I realized that attitude was not serving me. I didn’t want to always live in the dark. I really did want to feel better.
I decided to figure out what I had to be grateful for. Initially, this was a difficult task. I had no problem letting lots of negativity flow in. Since it was right there in front of me, I started looking at things I wasn’t grateful for, and there were lots. By looking at each thing that was bothering me, I realized that I had created many of them, like I was frustrated because friends weren’t calling me or asking me to do things. As I thought about that, I realized that my friends probably didn’t know what to do or say to me.
I was the first of everyone I knew to lose a spouse, so they didn’t have any experience dealing with that kind of loss. I decided to help them. When I wanted to go someplace, like to a lecture at the university or a concert, I would call someone who I thought would enjoy the same experience and ask for a ride. My idea worked. I had just been sitting at home by myself, and then I started going out to places I enjoyed with friends I missed.
With the success of my first venture, I started figuring out what else I could do. I asked a few friends over to dinner, and it became something we decided to do together every month going to each other’s homes. And I signed up for a pottery class with a friend and a Native American Arts class with another friend. The more I reached out, the more positive experiences came my way.
Realizing how much I had to be grateful for, I got in the habit of starting my day by writing at least three things in my journal that I am grateful for. I have continued that practice now for years. Occasionally, I may start feeling a little sad or lonely, so I will get out my journal and review things I am grateful for. My list is very long, and I always smile and feel better as I read parts of it.
When things start to seem all wrong in your world, switch that up by paying attention to what is right! Always be grateful for all the wonderful people, experiences, and things in your life. This attitude brings much joy!
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