I used to love the word hope. I would hope for world peace, for kindness in our country, for neighbors to sell their loud motorbikes, for my house to always be picked up.
I could hope for so many things wanting them to come true, but I started to see that things I hoped for didn’t happen. On the other hand, when I am expecting things, they do happen.
When we say that someone is expecting a baby, we automatically know that baby is on its way. When someone says she hopes to have a baby someday, that may or may not happen. I have learned when something is important to me, it will happen. I expected to earn a master’s degree, and I did. I didn’t hope to get good grades. I went to all my classes and did my best on all the assignments because I expected good grades.
World peace would be amazing, but that would require everyone in the world to also want world peace, and there will always be people who thrive on chaos and control, and as long as those people exist, world peace isn’t possible. Can you hope for world peace? Absolutely. Can things get better than they are now? Yes to that too. Individually doing things that create peace can lead us all in the direction of peace, and we can individually or in groups do what fosters peace and make the world a better place.
Expecting my neighbors sell their motorbikes is unrealistic. They have them because they love that noise. Instead of hope, I focus on knowing they will get a job somewhere far away, and they will take their bikes with them when they move. While I can’t create something to happen for someone else, I can smile when I just know that their dream job is out there waiting for them.
When it comes to an orderly house, that is entirely possible. All I must do is keep it picked up. This is very possible, though sometimes I need to remind myself.
What does all this have to do with grief and happiness? When you expect that each day will be better, even if just a little bit, each day will be better. When you expect to be happy, you allow yourself to smile and to participate in things that bring you joy. When people tell me that they can’t see how someone dealing with grief can be happy, I explain to them that when you expect happiness in your life, you will discover that reasons to be happy already are present in your life. The key is to recognize what they are and act on them.
I am grieving and I am happy. I am happy when I read a good book or watch a good movie. I am happy when I prepare a tasty, healthy meal for me to eat. I am happy when I say or do something that makes someone else smile. The more I focus on happiness, the more happiness I attract into my life.
What brings you happiness? Try expecting to be happy and see where that takes you. I see lots more smiles on your lovely face are on their way! Enjoy them! And expect a lot more!
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