Mourning and grief are different. Mourning is the outside expression of grief while grieving is what you feel on the inside.
Think of a time when a loved one died in the past or a time when you were with someone dealing with the death of a loved one. What outside indications of mourning have you observed?
The Gaelic tradition of keening is when women wail together loudly, expressing and releasing the sorrow they feel with the loss of a loved one.
An old tradition in Spain was when the male head of the family died, the women wore black for the rest of their lives, and they no longer went outside their houses.
Jewish people sit shiva when a parent, spouse, child, or sibling dies. The Shiva lasts for 7 days and has lots of traditional rules to follow.
Many cultures and religions have their own traditions where people outwardly demonstrate their mourning. While I didn’t have a tradition of how to mourn, I found myself sobbing until I could catch my breath, then I became silent and didn’t feel like talking.
How do you mourn? How have you observed others who mourn?
Grief is different from mourning. Mourning is mostly done in the presence of others. Grieving, however, is a personal, inside experience.
Grieving can happen before death as in anticipatory grief, it may seem brief, it may diminish over time, or it can last a lifetime.
As people transition from mourning into grief, feelings tend to become less apparent to observers.
Allowing ourselves to deal with our feelings helps them to dissipate. Failing to experience grief may cause physical and emotional symptoms, so paying attention to how you feel is essential.
Some tips for ways to take good care of yourself while grieving are:
- Read good books about dealing with grief.
- Write in a journal every day.
- Express your gratitude often.
- Forgive yourself for anything you need to.
- Find or create a group of people also grieving to support each other.
Most importantly, do something. Grief does not go away when you ignore it, so take good care of yourself. Release the inside experience of grief allowing yourself more room for happiness.
You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.
You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:
You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here
You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here
