When you want something, you don’t have it. That may sound like a simple sentence, yet it is so important. Think about when you have used the word “want.” I want a vacation. I want some apple pie. I want someone to love. What is common in all these sentences is what you don’t have.
If you say, “I want to feel better,” what you get is the “wanting” of feeling better. You won’t feel better when you are still wanting to. When you say, “I feel better,” what happens? You feel better. You have given yourself instructions that you are following.
Something similar happens when you use the word “have.” I caught myself saying, “I have a headache.” Now why would I want a headache? Saying, “I am happy that I feel great,” allows you the space to feel great.
I often hear the phrase, “Be careful what you wish for,” which applies here. When you say, “I want” or “I wish,” that’s what you get. If you say, “I want to take a class,” that’s just a wish. Signing up for a class and attending that class makes it happen. If you say, “I don’t want to feel this way,” you focus on the negative. Try saying something like, “I am feeling better every day.”
Try this: whenever you catch yourself saying “I want” or “I have,” turn that sentence around so you start it with. “I am.” When you proclaim who you are, that’s what you get. I often write in my journal things like, “I am strong,” or “I am healthy,” or “I am loved unconditionally,” and guess what happens? I recognize I am strong, healthy, and loved unconditionally!
Pay attention to when you say, “I want” or “I have.” When you do say things like that, stop yourself, and turn around what you said to something positive and present. You will be so glad you did.
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You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763
