At some point, we all live and we all die. What we do in between is up to us.
When I first found a carry-on suitcase that had wheels, I was thrilled at how easy it was to use. Then I just put more, heavier things in it. Those heavy things made it harder to handle and much more difficult to put in the overhead storage for the flight. My new wheeled suitcase brought more problems than I had before when I carried a much smaller, lighter bag.
Do you carry the baggage of your grief that no longer serves you? This is an easy trap to step in to. You can become exhausted by the emotions and memories you keep piling on. You may carry the weight of witnessing the sorrow and suffering your loved one experienced in the final days. Or you may be carrying a list of things you feel you could have, should have, or
would have done for your loved one, but you didn’t.
Negative memories can be heavy, and the longer you carry them, the heavier they get until you’re exhausted and find it difficult to move forward. You may not even realize you are doing this.
Start unpacking your bag one item at a time. Examine each item and ask yourself it serves you now. You’ll find some items that never served you like the guilt you feel over your failure to prevent your loved one from eating so much that their health was affected. Think about that. Were you responsible for the quantity or type of food your loved one ate? No. You weren’t. So why carry that around? Let it go.
As you remove each item from the bag, consider your story about it. For instance, you may have identified some things you know you need to deal with like removing your loved one’s name from your bank account. Your story could be that when you do that, your loved one’s death will feel final. The truth is, you already know your loved one died, so remove the book that tells that story, and your suitcase becomes lighter.
Think of each story as a book that you won’t need to carry around in your suitcase once you have read it. The more stories you release, the lighter your carry-on becomes.
The more we carry, the more exhaustion builds up. This exhaustion magnifies and can bring you to a place where it’s just too hard to step forward. Are you there? Or maybe you’re on the way.
Take some time for yourself to unpack the heavy suitcase of your grief you’ve been dragging around. Examine each story, do what you need to so you can finish reading about it, and then close and release the book.
When you deal with your stories one at a time, you can eventually release any of them that no longer serve you making space for more peace, more joy, and more love in your life. Then you can start moving forward.
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