I remember in 1965 Burt Bacharach released the song What The World Needs Now. He wrote it as the Vietnam War was raging. I remember those times when the flower children gathered to sing folksongs about peace and happiness. The yearning for love in the world brought people together in a positive way. You’d think that now, almost 50 years later, that we as the people of the world would have figured out how to live in peace with unconditional love for one another, for everyone.
How does this relate to grief? Those grieving are dealing with profound loss in their lives, no matter what the cause. And unconditional love is the most potent way to deal with that loss. You may say “But the person I loved the most died.” While that is so, it doesn’t mean that your love died. My two husbands, my parents, my sister, and so many friends and relatives have died, and I still love them all and will for the rest of my life. I am sure you have lots of love that you carry in your heart too.
Try writing in your journal or just sit quietly with your eyes closed and focus on your biggest or most recent loss. Write or think or dream about the person focusing just on the love you shared. What do remember about the times you felt the best. What were you doing? Where were you? What made that time so special? Enjoy remembering the beautiful feeling of love you shared then.
Ron and I used to spend lots of time sitting on our lani. We would talk, read, meditate, dream, play, and write. And sometimes friends joined us there too. We didn’t need to plan anything. We just enjoyed each other’s company. Jacques and I enjoyed participating in theatre together. We always loved watching each other perform. We also had long, wonderful conversations.
When you think about what has evoked those wonderful feelings before, how can you replicate or bring forth those feelings again? I loved to go to theatre or concerts with both of my husbands, so I look forward to enjoying attending those types of events with my friends now. The feelings you experience will be different, and that’s good because you are different now too.
I encourage you to focus on love now. Tell people you love that you love them. Often, we may assume that they already know, but everyone loves to hear they are loved. If saying it is hard, try writing it. Send them a card or a letter. What can you participate in where love is all around? Maybe volunteer somewhere you can do something positive. Or go to a wedding when invited. Or invite friends over for a game night.
When we all focus on doing all we do with love, society in general can rise up from all the negativity we experience now. What can you do today?
Listen to Burt’s song here: https://youtu.be/FfHAs9cdTqg?si=ykvM0hNiiVmkF9mv
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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