Think about those days you have had where everything just feels off. Maybe you didn’t sleep well the night before. Maybe it is a day when you are missing your loved one deeply. Maybe you don’t feel good with a headache and sluggishness. Maybe you have no energy. All these feelings are common while grieving.
Sometimes many things like this collide all at once and you feel like you have been hit by an avalanche. When that happens, pay attention. This is probably caused by not having paid attention to each symptom as they hit you. What do you do when this happens? First, slow down and take a few deep breaths. Then try one or some of these suggestions.
- Take a nap if you can. If you haven’t been sleeping well, getting some good sleep can act as a reset and give you a fresh start.
- Write in your journal. Explore how you got to this point. Was there something specific that triggered some of these feelings, like a birthday or holiday? Did you avoid an activity you loved to do together? Did you hear a special song on the radio? When things like this happen, write about them to discover what triggers you.
- Make a plan. Maybe you used to go out for Thai food often, and now when you even think of Thai food you get nauseated. If this happens, try finding a new place to eat, maybe a place that serves local farm to table food. If you hesitate to go alone, invite a friend or bring a book to read.
- Choose something active to do like tending your garden or going for a walk someplace you haven’t taken walks before. Schedule a regular time to go to your gym or to take a yoga class or a Chi Gong class.
- Be creative. Try new recipes for a healthy diet.
- Seek out new friends to gather with. You could join a book club. You could take a dance class. Or you could participate in an online group studying your favorite subject.
- Get involved. Help with a voter registration drive. Work with a group that is raising money for your favorite cause. Join a group to pick up litter on the beach or at the side of the highway.
- Pamper yourself. Get a massage or a facial or a pedicure. Or go shopping for a new outfit.
You may be reaching a crossroad. If you take the downhill road, you may feel progressively worse. If you take the other direction, you can gradually move forward stepping into new life experiences. The most important thing you can do when you reach this point is to do something. You get to choose. Inaction keeps you stuck. Choosing action in whichever way you would like is your impetus to for your new best life.
One step at a time.
The Grief and Happiness Alliance
Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
My email is emily@griefandhappiness.com
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