I saw on the news last night about another mass shooting. They showed a picture of each of the ten victims and shared who they were. I found myself teary, which led to actually crying. I didn’t know any of these people and I’ve only been to Colorado once, so I asked myself why this affected me this way? And I realized that I was dealing with compounding grief.
This shooting brought back memories of way too many more mass shootings. I even knew a victim of once of these incidents. Fortunately, she didn’t die, but her being hurt reminded me that this could happen to anyone anytime. They not only happen in in clubs, in theatres, and at concerts, but also at school and even church. A mass school shooting happened in the 70’s in San Diego at a school close to where we lived. My children were walking to school with a helicopter flying low over them, and when they got in their classrooms, the doors were locked. Another shooting happened when they were in junior high school and a shooter was shooting into classrooms from a park across the street. Fortunately, in that instance, no one was hurt.
As I considered my reaction last night, I recognized that I don’t fear mass shootings. There is no way we can know when something like this will happen, and fear wouldn’t change or help anything. What does happen with me is memories of my loved ones who have died. I am reminded of all I will never experience again with all these people. No more conversations, no more hugs, no more celebrations. My heart aches for those who loved these current victims thinking about all they will miss now. This I am sure is what brought the tears.
Tragedies like these happen as a part of life. If guns weren’t available, people who want to create this mayhem will find another way. Dwelling on these heart wrenching events does not serve us. Instead, we can use devastating events like this as an inspiration to live our best lives now when we can. Focus on each moment, sharing love and giving support to people we love every chance we get. Recognize all the love and beauty you have in your life right now and do whatever you can to multiply that. Don’t leave things unsaid that can lead to regret later. And include yourself in all that love. You are precious and special and deserve great experiences. Make them happen.
And instead of focusing on the sorrow you hold about the people you have lost, focus on the love you shared. Remember all the good things and know they will always be in your heart. When things happen that appear to be negative, always search for the bright side and actively do something that will make you and the loved ones you are surrounded by now feel all that love you are sending out. And remember to graciously receive that love they are reflecting to you.
I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.
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