I had the most wonderful experience this last week. My husband Jacques’s son and his wife delivered triplets almost 21 years ago, and though we met them the day they were born, and we have been in contact with them throughout the years, I hadn’t had a chance to know them individually. One of the triplets, Sydney, graduated from college this spring, so I invited her to come to Maui for a week and stay with me to celebrate. I am so grateful I had the inspiration to do this because our week was magical.
She had never been to Hawaii before, so we did some of the usual things people do when they come to visit like go snorkeling, walk on the beach, go to a luau, and go to Mama’s Fish House for a delicious meal. And the rest of the time we spent visiting and getting to know each other. She attended my Writing Together Through Grief Zoom meeting and my Intention Setting Group on Zoom with me. She also got to attend my Produce Share that I do once a week so share the bounty of our gardens with neighbors. We went to Farmer’s Market together and bought some plants that we planted when we got home. We helped my friend Sharon feed her ten new puppies supplemental feedings. She is very creative, so I taught her how to weave including setting up my loom, measuring yarn, all the way to a finished project she could take home. And because her Grandpa was half Italian and we had a tradition of making pasta from scratch for holidays, I taught her how to make pasta.
All these adventures were great, but what I enjoyed most was telling her stories of her Grandpa’s life. She was very young when he died, so she didn’t really get to know him. I told her everything I could think of starting with driving from San Francisco, where we were for my son’s wedding, to Los Angles on the day they were born. Her Grandpa was so excited! I shared how well respected her Grandpa was in the field of Ethics and Philosophy, what a talented singer and actor he was, how happy he was, and how he loved his life.
One evening she asked if I had pictures I could show her, so as we went through a big box, every picture inspired another story for me to tell her. One of my favorite stories was from a picture of her Grandpa standing with Mung, the man who had translated Jacques’s Ethics book into Chinese. Mung was visiting us from China because he wanted to meet the man who wrote the book that was used at the Institute of Philosophy in Beijing to help establish China’s ethical system after the Chinese Cultural Revolution. Jacques was holding his book in Chinese, and Mung was holding the book in English. Sydney had learned Chinese in high school, so I had given her the Chinese book when she graduated. She went on to graduate from college with a double major in Chinese and World Cultural Studies.
We went through the pictures for hours with each picture bringing more memories. I told her to take any of the pictures she wanted home with her, and she was thrilled. We also noticed Jacques’ sparkling smile in almost every picture. We were so happy together! I am grateful that I got to share all these memories with her, so her Grandpa now became a loving memory in her heart too.
Be sure to share your memories with your loved ones while you can.
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Earl Shiffman says
I just took Sydney to her dental appointment (Linda work up with a migraine headach) and we talked about some of the things you just wrote about. Your closing sentence really got my attention….Be sure to share your memories with your loved ones while you can.
I wish that I had asked my dad more about our family history in Poland. I got more family history from my mom (particularly her early years growing up in Montreal) and thankfully she took time before she died to write down a lot of it.
Recently I went through open heart surgery which prompted me to start writing down some of my personal history for my son and daughter.
I have always felt that a loved one getting up in age is the holder of such valuable memories and if not recored, they (the memories) are lost forever. So again, I will repeat your words….Be sure to share your memories with your loved ones while you can.
PS Linda just told me that she wants me to find out where we can purchase a copy of your book. Is it on Amazon?
Emily Thiroux says
Yes, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief is on Amazon and Barnes and Noble, and anyplace else books are sold. I would be happy to send you a signed book plate to put in your copy if you would like.