Creativity

National Haiku Day May 17, 2020

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In the Writing Through Grief group I facilitate on Maui, one of our favorite exercises is writing Haiku Poetry.  I first learned to write Haiku in a writing class in college and fell in love with the form years ago. The form is so simple that anyone can write it and easily express thought concisely.

Basically, Haiku poetry is written in 3 lines. The first and third lines have 5 syllables and the middle line has 7 syllables. Here are some examples:

 

no creatures better

not men nor flies – all are one

each one lives and dies

by William Blake

 

I write, erase, rewrite

Erase again, and then

A poppy blooms.

by Katsushika Hokusai

 

Calm as a river

Tranquility in my heart

Blue summer skies reign.
by Paul Holmes

 

Spring is in the air

Flowers are blooming sky high

Children are laughing

by Kaitlyn Guenther

 

In silence, alone,

I feel my heart and wonder

at the miracle.

https://spot.colorado.edu/~downton/lifegardening/life.htm

 

The Sun’s warm caress,

Gently touching our faces,

While we now cannot.

by Madeline Bauserman, Washington

 

Such peace and beauty

Grateful for my distant friends

Our world is changing

By Emily Thiroux Threatt

 

As people are looking for things to do during this time we are spending at home, writing Haiku can be an entertaining project that can even become meaningful to you. My grief writers have discovered they can express things in Haiku that they weren’t able to get out any other way.  We are even collecting Haikus written by group members to publish our own little book.

The University of Buffalo created a project to spark creativity for those at home now. You can read about it here. They encourage Haiku writers to post on Instagram where the hashtag #haiku already has 1.2M posts! They want you to post your Haikus along with art that represents them, preferably art you do to make it an especially creative project. I posted one with one of my photographs.

http://www.buffalo.edu/ubnow/stories/2020/04/haiku-project.html

 

Another interesting project is being done in collaboration between the Orange County Museum of Art and sound artist Alan Nakagawa. “Dubbed “Social Distancing, Haiku and You,” the project asks participants to write and digitally record haikus inspired by their own personal experiences during the pandemic. Upon receiving the digital recordings, Nakagawa will use Pro Tools software to create a sound collage that interweaves the multitude of voices into a single composition.” You can even create and submit your Haikus to by included.  The deadline is April 16th. More information is in the Smithsonian article. His composition will be released April 23.

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/sound-artist-asking-people-record-covid-19-haikus-180974642/

 

I encourage you to write some Haikus yourself.  In honor of National Haiku Day, I am offering my grief Haiku writing class for free here: https://www.reclaimingyourjoywithemily.com/offers/VCqfDijR

I would love for you to post your Haikus in the comments below so that we can all share. I can’t wait to read what you write!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Job Is To Smile

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Thanks to keolamagazine.com

 

I had the opportunity to judge the senior student projects at King Kekaulike High School right before it closed for the shut-down.  Each year, every senior student spends the year preparing their project which includes a mentorship with a teacher of their choice and with a community member, an actual product they create, a research paper written about the product and process, presentations to classes on campus, and a presentation to community judges. These students learn so much from this process and create amazing things.  The is the second year that I have had the honor of being a community judge.

When I judged last week, a young man came into the room to do his presentation, and it was obvious that something was wrong. He seemed so nervous and had trouble making eye contact, so I made it my mission to smile at him. When he realized I was doing this, he focused his presentation on me, took a deep breath, and relaxed into his presentation.  It turned out that he had spent a year on preparing for the Merrie Monarch Hula festival held on the Big Island every spring where he would be dancing. His product was learning to make Haku leis which he would wear while dancing. He also learned all about the tradition of the different Hawaiian leis and taught his younger sister how to make the leis and what they represented.  Then we learned that the night before his presentation, the festival had been cancelled because of the world health crisis, and he was devastated. I was so grateful that I had followed my inspiration to smile at him because I could see that it really helped.

For the rest of the presentations, I smiled at the students too, a genuine smile full of love and support, and they responded. I imagine the other judges may have wondered why the students were presenting their project directly to me. That just made me smile more.

This experience reminded me of the importance of smiling, how good it feels to me to smile, and how good it feels to others to be smiled at.  At this time of social distancing, we might not be as close to people as we have been, but whenever I do speak to someone in person, I make a conscious decision to smile. And for those I can’t interact with face to face, I always make whatever message I send by email, text, phone, or social media positive with the implication of a big virtual smile.

So today I smile at you and know in my heart that you are smiling back.  Be sure to take my smile and pay it forward. We all can use a little joy right now.

 

Wabi-Sabi and Grief

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Wabi-Sabi is the Japanese aesthetic of finding the beauty of imperfection.  Grief is like this. There is nothing perfect about grief. Grief goes all over the place with highs and lows and unexpected sharp turns and cliffs. Yet grief also has the beauty of precious memories, the coming together of family and friends, and the peace of relief when we catch our breath.

A roller-coaster is akin to the Wabi-Sabi of grief. While if you step back to look at a roller coaster, it may seem chaotic a messy. Creating a roller coaster actually takes years of thought and effort to design. Things like safety and thrills as well as what makes a new roller coaster bigger, better, and faster are all considered to create a carefully crafted, perfectly operating machine. And when the roller coaster ceases to function, a great deal of work is required to take it apart. The relationship you had with your loved one also took a long time to build and perfect, and it was likely filled with twists and turns and will take a long time and effort to shift when transition comes.

As your relationship grew with your loved one, your path was not always straight. Chances are it ranged from blue skies and butterflies, to passion and deep love, to occasional hick-ups bringing disagreements or resentment, but overall, it was pretty wonderful and definitely had thrills at times, just like that roller coaster.  The last time I was on a roller coaster, I experienced an overwhelming need to stand up right in the middle of the ride and just get off. This all could be included in the experience of grief. There are high and lows. Sometimes it goes so fast that you can’t catch your breath, while other times you can escape into the depths of meditation for a brief period of respite. And you always wish to somehow get off, to have the grief to not be happening or have it be over.

Looking at your grief from the perspective of Wabi-Sabi where you know that grief is not a straight line from point A to point B, will allow you to recognize that all of the experiences are part of a whole, big experience. Each part is a simple part, not the whole thing. If you collapse into tears, the tears will not flow forever. If your feel isolated, the aloneness won’t last forever. Look at each experience as just part of a some-what messy or imperfect Wabi-Sabi whole. Experience the sadness that you need to. Cry the tears that you need to. Spend time alone when you need to. And also remember the joys of the times you spent together. The smile of your loved one. The depths of your love. Eventually the high points and beauty of the experience will be much more and last longer than the low points. You have that to look forward to as you do the rest of your life. Instead of focusing on the negativity of this imperfect part of your life, focus on the beauty of the imperfection.

When I taught basket weaving, some students would come to learn how to make a perfect basket. But I taught my students how to allow the process of responding to the materials being used to allow the basket to become a unique, imperfect work of art. The picture I include here is an example of a basket I wove. Allow your grief to become that work of art that is perfect in its imperfection.

 

Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss

Three Things

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I’ve always been told that things come in threes, and that seems to be so.  When
I woke up this morning at the start of this new decade. I was thinking about what I had done last year that brought me joy, and I thought of three things.  That led me to think about what I am doing right now that brings me joy, and again, three things popped into my mind. So, I thought, what will my three things be for this year? And, you guessed it, three more things!

In 2019, I finished writing the manuscript for my book, Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss.  This project took me about a year to complete and was a major life changing activity for me.  In writing it, I worked through my own grief while discovering how I could help others do the same.  I also took a life changing trip to Bali traveling by myself.  I had several challenges in actually traveling to get there and back, but I handled them all, and I was deeply inspired by Bali: the people, their focus on family, their art, their lack of materialism, the way they worship, and the beauty. And the third thing was teaching 90 online university students using a new course delivery platform. I have taught online since the early 1990’s and love it, but this was my best semester yet.  This showed me how wonderful it is to try new things and find better ways to relate to my students.

My present three things are the joy I have found in opening my home to others by hosting writing workshops, hosting an intention setting circle, hosting a weekly produce share, and hosting parties with my friends to celebrate.  I also have discovered the joy of drawing, something I always thought I couldn’t do.  Now I love to draw. And my third thing is the joy in taking care of myself.  I love to work out with my trainer, take daily walks, do water aerobics at the pool, and eat a healthy vegetarian diet.  Finding new recipes is always fun, and I love to discover yummy vegan recipes.

Recognizing how good my life has been and is, I am now setting my intention for my future. Soon I will find the perfect publisher for my book and be helping thousands of people find ways to bring joy into their lives. I will greatly expand the number of friends I have and serve. And, I am open to new experiences whatever they may be. I don’t necessarily need to know what the experiences will be. I am just ready to go where my heart leads me.

What are your three things?  What was wonderful about 2019? What is wonderful about right now? And what does your future have in store for you?  I encourage you to write all this in your journal.  Writing things down somehow solidifies their truth and reminds you of all the joy you actually have. I’d love to hear what you discover!

 

Click here to sign up for my Writing Through Grief class.

Moments of Grief

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I have a wonderful studio that Ron had built for me when we moved to Maui. He knew I would miss the studio I had on the mainland, so he arranged for a bigger studio to be built here. As wonderful as my studio is, by the time it was completed, I needed to be with Ron most of the time, and even though the studio is on our property, it’s  far enough away from the house so that when time was of the essence when he had medical emergencies, I couldn’t get back up to the house fast enough. So, I didn’t spend much time there.

After Ron’s transition, I just couldn’t bring myself to go to the studio. Now, two years later, I am feeling creative again and have been appreciating what a wonderful gift studio is to me.  I was there a couple of days ago and was suddenly overcome by tears. I realized that it was a profound moment of missing him. When the tears slowed, I was able to complete what I was doing before I came back up to the house, though still a little shaken.

Ron used to spend much time on our lanai, Hawaiian for patio, where he would enjoy the beauty, the birds, the rainbows, and the butterflies that would actually come up and land on him. He told me that there would come a time that when I saw a butterfly or heard the birds or saw a rainbow, that I would know he was right there with me. Also, we got married on 1/1/11, so whenever I see 1111, I feel his presence also.

Since my episode at the studio, I have been a little fragile. I have moments of grief when I see something about someone dying on TV or someone mentions a loved one they are grieving for. But each time something comes up, the birds, the rainbows, or the butterflies or show up. And so does 1111. Yesterday I was talking on the phone with someone from a company who is helping with a big fundraising project I am working on. I am very excited about this project to raise funds for the Jazz Camp Maui my granddaughter has created. When I hung up, I looked at my phone and it was 11:11. Ron loved the idea of this camp, so I knew he is right here supporting my efforts. Think of what special things remind you of your loved one and notice when you see or experience them.

As the holidays are coming, we all are more prone to moments of grief which is perfectly natural as we go through this experience. The key is to stay in the moment and not get lost in the sorrow.  Think of how our loved one would want us to feel. Remember the joy of our love for them. Find little ways to celebrate that joy from writing or calling someone who is alone for the holidays, to volunteering someplace that could really use your help. Discover how wonderful life still is, and how much better it is because of the love you got to share.

 

Sign up for my free class to help you through the holidays.

Who Do You Touch?

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I went to listen to music and watch the sunset sitting outside last night not far from the beach. I invited my friend Sharon to go with me and we had a great time people watching. I was talking with people sitting near by when someone mentioned how much she likes my Facebook Group Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss for its positivity and support. I was tickled to hear that someone appreciates what I do when I realized I was sitting with three of my group members. What a treat. 

I spend lots of time writing my blog, posting on social media, and working to get my book published, but I don’t always hear that people are actually seeing what I do and are affected by what I say. I realized last night the power of my positivity. I love to help and support people and see that my reach is further than I had imagined.

When you speak or write, who hears you? Is the message you send out who you really are? Will people find comfort in what you say? Or will their heart break a little because they felt judged or like they are not enough? 

The words you speak or write have power. Choose what you say wisely, and infuse your words with positivity and love. I am grateful you read this. My intention is to support you on your journey with love. 

 

If you would like to join our Facebook group, go to Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss and ask to join. I hope to see you there!