Creativity

Holidays Checklist

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I interviewed Lisa Hepner, author of The Christmas Checklist, for my podcast and was so inspired. The book is about a dying mother who was concerned about how her daughter would handle the Christmas season without her. Her daughter, Emily, discovered the list after her mother transitioned and allowed it to help her through the holidays.

When I think of lists for Christmas, I think of writing who I need to find gifts for, who I will send cards to, and all the things I need to get done. Emily’s mother’s list is so different from that. Each item of this list was carefully chosen as a different way of handling the season. The twelve items on the list included things like:

  • Volunteer for a cause.
  • Do something you are afraid of.
  • Forgive a grudge. Life is too short to hold grudges.

As I followed Emily’s journey of completing every item on the list, I could see how through following her mother’s loving guidance, Emily discovered her holiday joy. This inspired me to write my own Holiday Checklist, and to complete every item on it. When I told Lisa about my list, she smiled and said that was exactly what she wanted people to do when they read her book.

Here’s my list:

  1. Make a new friend.
  2. Spend some time with an old friend I haven’t seen lately.
  3. Bake cookies and share them with my neighbors.
  4. Go to a concert.
  5. Create my own Christmas cards and mail them.
  6. Learn something new.
  7. Spend some time outside every day.
  8. Write something in my journal every day that brings me joy.
  9. Surprise someone with an anonymous gift.
  10. Do something special just for me.

Just reading my list makes me smile with anticipation of the holiday joy completing it will bring me. What will you include on your Holiday Checklist? I hope you will share your list with me! I know this project will bring you holiday joy!

 

To get a free copy of Lisa’s list, click here:

https://thechristmaschecklist.com/

The Christmas Checklist has been made into a movie on Amazon Prime and can be seen on CBS.

Just to let you know the movie, The Christmas Checklist, is streaming on Amazon Prime, Roku, Tubi and Peacock. It’s about an hour and 45 minutes.
The limited series (4 episodes, 45 minutes each) is on You Tube. (Part 3 and 4 will be uploaded on Friday). In case you want to watch.Lots of viewing options.

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

The Gifts You Give Blog

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This year seems to have flown by. November suddenly appeared on my calendar and all those end-of-year have-tos took over my mind like Christmas cards, gifts, gatherings, and special events. I took a deep breath and made a decision to be mindful this holiday season. I am making a list of all I think I should do, and when I finish that list, I will go back and eliminate anything that doesn’t make me happy. I already feel better about the season.

Of the items I have left on my list, I am planning when to accomplish them being sure not to plan them too close together to allow me the space to relax and enjoy what I do. For instance, I love to make Christmas cards. I’ve been thinking all year of the design for the front of the card. I have been using drawings that I have done for about five years. Since I have been doing watercolor painting this year, I am switching to that.

Ron and I wrote together the sentiment we put inside of every card. I’ve used those same words for about eight years, so this year I am writing something fresh. And I am creating those cards by the third week in November so they will be mailed at the start of December with no stress.

I am also creating a list of who I will give gifts to. I’ve noticed that I have been receiving fewer gifts each year, so this year I am examining my gift list to make thoughtful choices of the people I give gifts to. I used to feel obligated to give many gifts which was a burden on my time and resources. I see now that I was choosing to do that, and I no longer feel the need to make that choice. I feel relieved already!

Minimal decorations for my home will allow it to feel more spacious and showcase the items I have collected over the years that I cherish and bring me memories that make me smile. That way there is not as much put out and then put away later.

Taking the time to write this has allowed me to see that I am simplifying my December plans so much that have nothing to stress about this season. This is allowing me to experience the peace and grace of the season that I have been much too busy to enjoy in the past. This is the best gift I can give to myself.

What can you do now at the beginning of November to allow you to experience your best holiday season ever? Happy holidays!

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

Like a Child

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I was a latchkey child. Back in the olden days when I was young, starting in Kindergarten I walked to and from school by myself and entertained myself after school. My favorite childhood memories came from those times. I was so creative! I loved being outside, and walking was fun for me. I loved looking at all the houses and imagining what went on inside.  I especially liked the luscious fragrances wafting from the kitchens or the sweet smell of freshly mowed grass.

I knew all the families on our block, so if I ever needed anything, I visited them. There were no fences. I especially liked the people across the street who had an aviary for parakeets. They’d let me help with the birds and even gave me a pretty blue one to keep as a thank you. I wasn’t lonely because Julie was my imaginary friend. We loved to play together, and she was an amazing listener who always liked my ideas. She shared my bedroom and loved the same toys I did. She was a perfect friend!

The freedom I experienced at such a young age taught me to be independent, wise, brave, creative, and self-assured.  I heard someone giving advice recently who said, “Let your little girl lead the way.” With that, I remembered my little girl and how cool she was!  When I thought of myself as a little girl, I was impressed. I also saw that the words I used to describe her then are words I can use to describe me now. Of course, in all the years between then and now, I could use lots of other words to describe me, not always so positive. Now I have come full circle and am happy and grateful for the simplicity of my life.

What was your little girl (or little boy) like? Does your life now reflect who you were when you were young? I don’t remember things like wants or needs. I do remember peace and happiness. When you start to get stressed and have lots of “if only” thoughts beating you down, remember the good feelings you had as a child and let that child guide you to smile, be brave, and be strong. Make a list of the good attributes you had when you were young, and consider how that child in your past can bring you joy today.

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

Where Does the Time Go?

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I don’t know about you,, but it seems that every day someone says, “I can’t believe it’s July already.” This year is half gone yet it seems like it barely got started!  When I reflect on the year so far, there is so much I don’t remember, but I realize that’s because I’ve been so busy that I rush through most of what I do.

My birthday is coming up soon, so I have been thinking about my age and realize I don’t have anywhere near the number of days left than the ones I’ve lived so far. Each of my coming days is a new opportunity to live my very best life, so I plan to make each of them the best they can be. To that end, my plan is to stop wasting time. I can expand my time by focusing on what I experience at the moment.

I admit that I sometimes get pulled into the siren song of the screen. When waiting for something, I’ll play just one more game, and that leads to playing another. There isn’t any benefit there except “killing time.” What an unpleasant expression! Why would I want to do that? Instead of killing time, I now plan to savor those moments. I can just be still and focus on my breathing. That feels so good.

I also know I can expand my time. When my day is jammed full of “stuff” I feel I have to do, I find myself racing to get it done, and by the end of the day, I am tired, and it seems that the day is too short. When I don’t over-plan my day, leaving space for downtime, my day feels longer.

Instead of packing my day with a mile-long to-do list, I choose the three most important things I plan to accomplish, and only when they are complete do I create a new list of the three things that are most important to me to finish. On each list, I am sure to include things like going for a walk, reading a novel for a half an hour, or baking a pie for dessert. When I sprinkle in fun, relaxing things like this in the list that I do to enjoy, I still accomplish what I need to each day while I am taking good care of myself by making time for things that make me happy.

Instead of stressing about how much time it takes to do things, mindfully choose what you are using your energy for. When I spend an hour doing something I don’t enjoy, like entering data into my computer, it feels like four hours is an eternity, and I feel exhausted. When I spend an hour creating a watercolor-painted birthday card, it feels like time stops while I am creative, and I feel energized when I finish.

I love Simon and Garfunkel’s “59th Street Bridge Song,” otherwise known as Feeling Groovy. I smile knowing that’s a great way to feel:

“Slow down, you move too fast,

Got to make the morning last . . . .

Looking for fun and feeling groovy . . . .

Life, I love you, all is groovy.”

When you live mindfully, you can savor those moments you’ve expanded and feel groovy.

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance, which meets weekly on Sundays, by clicking here.

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Guide by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

 

 

 

Reflections on Manifestations 

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My new book, The Grief and Happiness Handbook, launches this Friday, July 7, 2023. Last week, my publisher asked me what my intention is related to the book. I told her that the book is a bestseller, and I am thrilled because I know it is bringing comfort, support, love, and happiness to all who read it. Now I am watching that manifestation unfold.

I did some serious soul-searching after my husband Ron died. We moved to Maui just two years before his transition. I had met wonderful neighbors and some of Ron’s friends from when he lived here long before I knew him. At that point, though, I was pretty much alone and longed to know what I was supposed to do with the rest of my life. In my exploration process, I journaled a lot, revealing to me the value of writing to deal with loss.

I realized that my new purpose in life was to help myself by helping others deal with their grief using writing in the process.

When Ron’s friend Chappy died a few months after Ron, I decided to write his dear wife Lori a card every week for a year. As I created those cards, I realized I had an outline for a book with the subjects of those 52 cards. I had written three university-level textbooks at that point, and I was teaching writing at the university, so writing a book helping people learn how to write through grief seemed to be my logical goal. My challenge was finding a publisher.  My agent and I worked for months approaching publishers.

A friend invited me to attend a group where people shared what they were manifesting and then supported each other toward those manifestations.  I went with her and told my new friends that I was manifesting the publisher for my book. I continued to focus on that and attend the meetings, and in two months, I had my publisher.

When I wrote my next book, my publisher wanted to wait a year or two before they published it, and since I didn’t want to wait, I set my intention to manifest the perfect publisher for my new book. When I talked to one of my podcast guests, she told me how wonderful her publisher is, so I approached that publisher, Ignite Publishers, and my guest was right.  Ignite is a wonderful publisher.

I am reflecting on being grateful to manifest the perfect publishers for these two books this week. I became aware of the process of manifestation after my husband Jacques died.  Two friends of mine suggested that I watch the movie The Secret. The movie is about the power of manifestation and stars many experts in the field, including Michael Bernard Beckwith, founder of the Agape International Spiritual Center; Jack Canfield, creator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul series; and Marci Shimoff, author of Happy for No Reason and founder of the Happy For No Reason Certified Trainer program.  In the years after I watched that movie, these three people have assisted me in my efforts to help those dealing with loss. I found that Michael Bernard Beckwith was a childhood friend of my husband Ron. He conducted the celebration of life we held for Ron and wrote the forward to my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief. Jack Canfield did a beautiful interview with me about that book. You can watch it on my website. And Marci welcomed me into her happiness training program and wrote the forward for my new book, The Grief and Happiness Handbook.

When I watched The Secret, I had no idea how it would help me on my journey. By being willing and open to living my best life, much wonder and good has come to me. Looking back, I realize that I have been manifesting things throughout my life without realizing that was what I was doing. For instance, in every job I have had, I was invited to do rather than search for a job. I’ve manifested buying and selling homes with ease and grace.  I manifested creating my live theatre. I manifested perfect roles for me to perform in plays.  And I could go on forever.

Manifestation is a powerful tool to create your dreams. I encourage you to manifest your best life or maybe, like me, realize that is what you have been doing all along.

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance, which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

Be a Day Maker

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My granddaughter came to my rescue when I was having a challenge on how to do something on my computer. We had a Zoom call and worked together, and we had a great conversation. That made my day! The next day a good friend asked me to Zoom with him. We laughed so much together as we were catching up, and that made my day.  Then another good friend called me on the phone to see how I was doing. We had a thought-provoking conversation that I hadn’t realized I needed. And it was lovely just to hear her voice. Again, that made my day.

These contacts are extra special to me especially because I live in Hawaii, the most remote place in the world. It’s easy to lose touch with loved ones who live far away. Each of these calls brightened my day and brought me happiness and loving support. I started thinking about other things that would fit in that category, and I thought of lots from just the last few days. A friend brought me some juicy fresh figs, another friend brought me packages of seeds for my garden, and another friend took all my cardboard to the recycling center for me. And my day was brightened by chare vegetables from my garden with my neighbors and teaching happiness techniques at the Grief and Happiness Alliance meetings.

Knowing wonderful people and interacting on so many levels brighten my life every day. I encourage you to think about what brightens your day. If something doesn’t come to mind right away, think some more.  We have a tendency to look at the negative first which can block our realization of what is good for us that we are already experiencing. If this is happening for you, try focusing on the good things that happen in your life, and make a conscious effort to do something to brighten someone’s day every day, and pay attention to how good that feels!

How can you help make the day for someone else today? What can you do for yourself that can make your day? Be sure to do whatever it takes to make today your best day!  Then keep doing that every day.  You’ll be so glad you did!

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here