Creativity

Finding Happiness During The Holidays

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If you are anticipating that your holidays will not be the same as they were before, you are correct. They won’t be the same, yet when you look at all your holidays past, none of them were the same. Now is the time to take really good care of yourself and create the holidays you would like to have this year.

Consider what is most important to you during the season. Prioritize what you would love to experience.  Here are some ideas.

  • What holiday event have you always wanted to go to but for some reason, it didn’t fit into your plans in the past.
    • Have you been to a live performance of the Nutcracker Ballet?
    • How about a performance of Handle’s Messiah?
    • Maybe there is a local play or choir concert.
  • What could you do to serve those less fortunate where you live?
    • Maybe you could plan a pampering day for women in a local shelter.
    • If you’d like a big holiday dinner, who can you invite who would have been alone at dinner time?
    • Is there a local food drive you could make a part of your new holiday tradition?
  • Maybe you could do something special for the children in your family or neighborhood.
    • Gathering children to do a craft project to create a paper chain where they write their wishes on the links could be fun.
    • You could gather some children and read positive stories to them.
    • You could accompany children to go caroling around the neighborhood or to a senior center
    • Schedule selfcare just to pamper you.
    • Schedule a manicure or a facial.
    • Invite a friend you’d love to spend some time with to coffee or to lunch.
    • Go someplace you have never been before for the holidays

On every holiday, I write a letter to who I am grieving. In my case, there are several people, so there are several letters.  I take my time with each letter writing out whatever I want to tell them.  Sometimes I have tears when I write the letters, and just as often, I smile.  I open my heart and reflect on how my life is going, and most times, despite some sorrow, I feel better each time I write the letters.

My favorite part of my letter writing is that after I write each letter, I write a second letter from the person I wrote to back to me. I don’t think about what I write or judge what I am saying.  I just let my thoughts flow, and when I finish the letter, I take a deep breath, and then I read that letter.  This is a time of discovery for me. I reflect on the depth of love, respect, caring, and kindness of the loved ones I am corresponding with. And I know each of them is always in my heart forever.

Instead of anticipating sorrow for the season, focus on planning joy. Focus on your precious self. When you take good care of yourself first, you can relish in the discover of the joy and positivity that will flow your way.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, here:

https://smile.amazon.com/Ignite-Forgiveness-Journey-Peace-Harmony-ebook/dp/B0BLFCYYD6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9C6VAFE42H5C&keywords=ignite+forgiveness+book&qid=1669836040&sprefix=Ignite+forg%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

 

Stuck

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When I read what people are saying in some of the grief groups I follow, I notice that many people are stuck in their grief. The gist of what I hear is that people feel that if they lighten up on their grief, they somehow will lose the connection with their loved one who died.  The people who express this seem so sad, unable to connect with their new situation of their loved one’s passing. They seem to feel that they must stay sad because being happy in their situation feels like a betrayal to their loved one.

I was writing the other day about how my husbands would like for me to deal with my life now. In the process of writing, I felt my husbands smiling at me, so I started to smile while I was writing. When that happened, I realized that my husbands would want me to be happy. I remembered how when we first got together, Ron was always telling me to smile.  I was so serious then. As I looked in the mirror, I could see how much better I looked when I was smiling, and that smiling actually was making me feel better, lighter, and happy.

All of us people grieving will experience periods of yearning or sadness.  The key is to recognize these feelings, experience them, thank them, then release them and smile even if smiling is a challenge.  When we stay stuck in these feelings, that is all we are concentrating on.  Time goes on, and we aren’t moving forward with it because all we can think about is our loved one. When you find yourself falling into this abyss, take a few slow, deep breaths to center yourself, and commit to yourself to release those feelings.  And when they come back, do this again.  The more you recognize what you are doing, the easier it will be to deal with your feelings.

Make your journal your friend.  When you start feeling that sadness, anxiety, or yearning, write about what you are feeling. Include why you are feeling the way you are right now. What triggered this feeling?  For instance, if whenever you eat apple pie, you remember how much your loved one loved apple pie and always had to have two servings each time you made it. You find yourself feeling blue when you remember this.  Take some time to explore this feeling. My main memory of apple pie was how much I enjoyed making apple pie because Ron loved it so much, and it made him smile. Instead of staying stuck in that sadness you I was feeling, I could smile at the happiness of the memory.  You will be amazed how you can shift your reaction to your memories in a positive way so that you can release the sadness and replace it with the good memory.

I challenge you to pick up your journal each time you start feeling the negative emotions and find the joy in the experience you remember. Focus on that joy, and in the process, release that sadness.  The more you do this, the happier you will become until you find yourself naturally feeling the happiness while releasing the negativity.

You can do this.  You can be happy.  Your loved one would want you to be happy.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, here:

https://smile.amazon.com/Ignite-Forgiveness-Journey-Peace-Harmony-ebook/dp/B0BLFCYYD6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9C6VAFE42H5C&keywords=ignite+forgiveness+book&qid=1669836040&sprefix=Ignite+forg%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

 

Miracles Already Are

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How many miracles have you experienced in your life? I’ll bet you can’t count them. Most of us go through life without realizing that each of our lives is a miracle. Every moment of our lives is a miracle.

When I was training to be a nurse, I was required to observe a surgery being done. I had studied anatomy and physiology but seeing it from the inside out was life changing for me. To see what a stomach actually looked like, and to see the peristalsis (continuous movement) of the intestines ushering the patient’s waste out of his body. Wow. Just wow.  The miracle of our body’s diligence at keeping us functional and alive will always amaze me.

Think of the miracle of thinking! And talking. And reading. And walking. And I look outside at the miracle of the avocados growing on the tree to feed us, the wind blowing to freshen the air, and the raindrops bringing precious moisture to our vegetable garden.

I have a hard time thinking of things I wouldn’t consider a miracle.  We do not have to create miracles because they are already there

I do believe that we are responsible for what we do with all these miracles that come our way. I believe that falling in love is a miracle whether it’s with your new partner, your new baby, or your new puppy. The love we share is such a gift.

My point here is to encourage us all to take a look at this life experience that we are having right now and appreciate how miraculous everything is. When you look at your life as it in this moment, what are you grateful for? When you look at everything as a miracle, you can fully realize how good life is!

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Want to Feel Good?

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Did you know that you can contribute to your own feeling good? You may be surprised that you do without even realizing what you are up to. Our miraculous bodies are always working to serve us to live our best lives, but they can do even better with a little help from us.

When we are grieving, our minds may try to convince us that we can’t smile or laugh or that we don’t deserve to feel good. Unfortunately, many of us listen to that negative often because we just don’t have the energy to object. Fortunately though, you have mighty endorphins in your body who would love to come to your rescue!

Meet your superhero Endy the Endorphin! Endy is an old name which has many meanings including Magical woman, loyal, kind, sweet, and strong. Knowing that Endy resides in all of us, and she is happy to serve can bring us much comfort! She can release feel good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

Here are some of the many benefits of experiencing the joys endorphins.

  • Reduced Depression
  • Improved self- esteem
  • Reduced Anxiety
  • Reduced pain
  • A boosted immunity
  • Regulated appetite https://bit.ly/3RJbuXj (source)

What do you need to do to call in your new best friend Endy the Endorphan?  It’s easy! Just issue your clarion call to Endy by generating a big smile, or better yet laughter, even a big belly laugh. This simple process that we all can do invites Endy to release all those lovely endorphins that light us up like when we get a big loving hug from someone special, or when you find out you’re going to be a grandparent, or when you see the most beautiful rainbow you can imagine.

What are you waiting for? Look n the mirror and see how big you can make your beautiful smile knowing that Endy’s help is on the way!

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Happy Days

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I facilitate the Grief and Happiness Alliance every week on Zoom.  Each week we do some writing related to our situations and we end with learning different happiness practices. Every gathering ends with the participants smiling. Being around people who are also grieving or dealing with loss is a great place to share and get support.

This week, instead of our usual format, we wrote about happiness.  We started with a short meditation where I encouraged the participants to remember times in their lives when they were especially happy. Then I asked them to make a list of things they have been happy about. They didn’t need to write about each experience, just identify it.  For instance, I was happy at my wedding to Ron and my wedding to Jacques.  I could have written a big, long story about each of these and all the other things I thought of. But I stuck with making a list, and by the end of the meeting, I had over 70 items on my list!

We all wrote long lists and enjoyed sharing our favorite happy moments. All the participants found joy in our moments together.  I am sharing this with you to encourage you to make a list like this too!  Aim for at least 100 things.  I know that sounds like a lot, but the more your write, the more you will think of, and the more you will smile.

And it doesn’t have to end there.  If you get to a point where you are feeling a little down, get out your journal and your list.  Pick one thing on the list and write about it in detail including everything that made you happy during that experience.  The more often you do this, the more often you will feel yourself smiling and the longer that happiness will last.

Every morning when I write in my journal, I write about what brought me the most joy the day before. This is a great way to start my days.  It also keeps me thinking throughout the day about what is bringing me happiness. What you focus on is what you experience. You can be so much happier just by focusing on happiness!  Try it and let me know how good it feels.

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Ordinary Moments

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Our lives are made up of millions of moments every day, every hour, every minutes. Some of our moments are spectacular, while most are what we experience we would probably consider as ordinary.  How can we up the number of spectacular, or at least wonderful, moments in our lives?

Think about your day today.  Anything wonderful yet?  Today is special to me, my birthday.  So far, I have had over 200 birthday wishes on Facebook!  I have been hearing from old and new friends, and even from many people I don’t know! And I did a Facebook Fundraiser for the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization, and over $500 has been donated so far! So many birthdays I have celebrated in the past were lonely, but now each birthday seems so special.

I am visiting in California right now. I came to Ventura to visit a dear friend.  When I arrived, I was overwhelmed by memories of moments.  I lived here with my husband Ron for six beautiful years.  I thought this was my forever home.  I made many special friends, I created lots of art, and I loved the beauty here. As I entered my friend’s home, I realized how many special memories we share. I saw many of my works of art she has collected over the years, and I thought of the many pieces of glass work she has done for me.

I have the sweet memory of the beautiful little wedding Ron and I had here and the lively parties we hosted. I remember the longs walks and the special charming downtown area. And everywhere is close to the beach which isn’t crowded.  I loved the First Friday celebrations we had going to many open artists’ studios.  And the restaurants are so good! When we manifested our house, Ron wanted to live in the country, and I wanted to live in town.  We found a unique house that was built in the 40’s, had 14 mature Hass avocado trees, was walking distance to the hills, was a mile from the beach, and a block from Main Street with restaurants and more! I thought it was our forever home and had some tears when I arrived.

I do love my home in Maui now too.  I have wonderful neighbors, my own studios for my art, a huge garden of vegetables and fruits, a bicoastal view, and so many great friends. I love all the beaches, the upcountry area where I live, and all the great restaurants, concerts, and art galleries.  And I can write and teach and facilitate meetings from my quiet home.

When I look at all these things, I realize that my life is made up of many miraculous, beautiful moments, and I can’t help but smile! How have your moments been today? Can you transform some into little miracles? I hope so!  That feels so good!

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763