Recently I read about how the Choctaw nation was forced to leave their ancestral homeland the in southeastern United States and walk to what is now Oklahoma on a journey known as The Trail of Tears. During this time in 1847, Ireland was experiencing the great potato famine. I can’t imagine how these two groups of people learned about the suffering each group was enduring, but they did. The Choctaw wanted to help the Irish even while their own people were suffering and starving to death. They managed to collect $170 which today would be the equivalent of so much more, and they gave that fortune to the Irish.
Till this day, the Choctaw and Irish maintain a special relationship and honor each other.
Now when catastrophes occur around the world, people tend to contribute however they can when the loss is fresh, but it doesn’t take long for the generosity to dwindle as the loss magnifies.
This type of long-standing support for others in a time of need is sometimes hard to find. When people tell me their grief experiences, they often tell me about having friends distance themselves. Seeing someone in grief can foster memories of loss. I remember calling myself a Black Widow when I wasn’t included in gatherings with friends or family. Experiencing things like this inspired me to reach out to others who are grieving. I include them whenever I can, and I listen to their stories.
What does this have to do with grief? Just as we want for things to get back to what we might think could be normal while grieving, that doesn’t happen quickly.
Have you felt ostracized or lonely while grieving? Have you witnessed that happening to others? What can you do to be generous? Reach out to people dealing with loss. Expand your circle of friends. Open your heart. Include and invite people you may not have thought of before. Your loving can change their world.
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Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief
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