“Grief doesn’t get lighter. You just get used to carrying the weight”
Virgin River
When I heard this quote, I thought that it says much. I remember the many times in my life when I was going to start a new project that it would seem overwhelming. When I was inspired to write my book, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, initially the project seemed so huge and intimidating, yet I knew that in my heart I was committed to writing something that would help others. So, I started.
I had a list of Chapter titles that included what I wanted to say in each chapter, but I started with the introduction. In hindsight, writing the Introduction much later would probably have been easier. I wrote the introduction, then I wrote it again, then I revised that. I had someone else read it, and I wrote it again. The more I wrote, the more that voice in my head was trying to talk me out of writing the book at all. When I realized this, I sat the Introduction aside and started writing the chapters.
The process of writing that introduction made the work of writing feel heavier with every word. When I started writing the chapters, I discovered I was warmed up and ready to go. Just as runners take time to stretch before they start to race, I had been warming up my writing skills. And the more I wrote, the easier it got. I formed a routine of researching what the chapter was about to see what others had already written. Then I would do some brainstorming to discover the main points of the chapter would be. When I was ready, I wrote the chapter in one sitting. Then I set it aside for a couple of days before I read when I had written with fresh eyes.
After I wrote all the chapters, I read the whole book, then read the original introduction again. I was amazed at all the changes I made in the introduction. I was so glad I hadn’t stopped working on the introduction because what I wrote for the introduction after I read the whole book was so much better.
What does all this have to do with grief? Some describe early grief as feeling a heavy weight on your chest making breathing difficult. Your body may feel heavy as you try to get out of bed or up from a chair. Your feet and legs feel heavy when you try to walk. Nothing feels normal. This heaviness is common in early grief. Many people find themselves not eating much to avoid more heaviness. Recognizing this is happening is a good start. And as you move forward, probably more slowly than you would like to, the heaviness you are carrying starts to lighten.
You still miss your loved one, and you always will. You are not trying to forget your loved one or to get over your, loss, but each day, everything lightens a little. There will come a time when you tend not to remember that early heaviness, and you realize how much better you are feeling.
If you are carrying a heavy load of grief right now, what can you do to lighten up? Getting out in nature, taking a walk, spending time with someone you love. All these things and more will help melt that weight away. You have come so far, and you realize now that you are carrying the love of your loved one instead of the weight of your loss, and you feel so much better!
Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767
You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa
You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.
https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1
You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763
