Happiness

Making the Internet World Smile

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I woke up the morning with some of the lyrics of the Beatles song A Day in Life running through my head. “I read the news today, oh boy . . . .” only I had read the news last night on Instagram.  Leslie Jordan died in a single car accident after apparently having a medical event.

I met Leslie in 1983 just after he arrived in California with dreams of being a movie star. We worked together at The Great American Melodrama in Bakersfield, California, he as an actor, singer, dancer, and me, a theatre major in college, being in charge of costume maintenance. Leslie was 4’ 11” tall and I am 6’ tall, so we made quite a pair.

Leslie constantly kept us all laughing with his raunchy sense of humor, and the audiences just loved him. One night he was standing next to me looking up and he said in his adorable lilting Tennessee accent, “I just want to thank you for keeping our costumes mended and clean so we can look and smell good for our fans. I really appreciate what you do for us.” He was the only person to ever thank me for doing that work.

Leslie went on to Hollywood and ultimately became the star he wanted to be earning an Emmy for his role in Will and Grace, but most people will remember him for his kind heart. He was a volunteer during the AIDS crisis bringing comfort to so many people.

During the pandemic, wanting to cheer people up, Leslie became a mega star on Instagram having 5.8 million followers and almost a thousand posts. With everyone being on lockdown, Leslie started posting as “thelesliejordan” at least twice a day doing whatever he could think of to cheer us all up.

With his “Make them laugh” personality,  Leslie brought so much joy into the lives of so many. I miss you already Leslie, and I, and all your fans, will forever.

In Leslie’s honor, let’s all make someone smile today.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

When I Let Go

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Rev Rachel Hollander, the President of the board of the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization, has a beautiful singing voice and is an accomplished song writer, so when she invited me to attend the service on Zoom of the Washington DC Unity Church where she would be singing three songs, I knew I had to attend even though at was at 5 AM Maui time where I live. I am so glad I did!

All week last week when I awakened in the morning l could hear her singing one of the songs she wrote and sang at that service. The name of the song is Float because it came to here fully formed when she was in a flotation tank. The words that reached me deeply are “When I Let Go.”

On the third day in a row I was singing that refrain, I finally got it. That was a message to me. I have lived such a busy life. I always had more to do, not out of obligation, but out of passion. I love my life, and I keep getting inspired to do more. And I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I put a lot of pressure on me to have things exactly the way I want them.

As I heard those lyrics, I knew it was time for a big change. This week I was getting ready to go to Unity Village in Missouri to speak at their grief retreat. We’ve been planning it for months, and I was ready to leave. Then my flight got delayed, which meant that I would not be able to catch my connecting flight. So I saw this as a time to let go. My good friend Shena, who made the flight arrangements for me, was able to get me booked on a different airline, and she got a refund for the other flight.

It was Sunday, and I wasn’t able to reach the person in Missouri who was handling the arrangements for me on that end, so I figured out how to change my transportation from the airport. Although I arrived a day later than planned, I had initially scheduled to arrive a day early to help me with the jet lag from the five hour time difference, so everything worked out perfectly.

In the past, I would have been a nervous wreck. This time I chose to let all that stress go. Everything was handled with ease and grace, and I ended up with a free day to relax with a good book.

I am looking at my life and realize that I will now focus on being rather than doing. And in paying attention, I also see that I had already started this awhile ago.  Now I am being mindful of this change, and you know what? It feels great. I have so much more room and time to be at peace, to listen when someone speaks to me, and to focus on taking care of myself first so that I am present in all I do to live my best life.

How about you? What can you let go of to enhance your beautiful life?

 

You can listen to Rev Rachel’s beautiful song here.

Rev Rachel Hollander

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Miracles Already Are

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How many miracles have you experienced in your life? I’ll bet you can’t count them. Most of us go through life without realizing that each of our lives is a miracle. Every moment of our lives is a miracle.

When I was training to be a nurse, I was required to observe a surgery being done. I had studied anatomy and physiology but seeing it from the inside out was life changing for me. To see what a stomach actually looked like, and to see the peristalsis (continuous movement) of the intestines ushering the patient’s waste out of his body. Wow. Just wow.  The miracle of our body’s diligence at keeping us functional and alive will always amaze me.

Think of the miracle of thinking! And talking. And reading. And walking. And I look outside at the miracle of the avocados growing on the tree to feed us, the wind blowing to freshen the air, and the raindrops bringing precious moisture to our vegetable garden.

I have a hard time thinking of things I wouldn’t consider a miracle.  We do not have to create miracles because they are already there

I do believe that we are responsible for what we do with all these miracles that come our way. I believe that falling in love is a miracle whether it’s with your new partner, your new baby, or your new puppy. The love we share is such a gift.

My point here is to encourage us all to take a look at this life experience that we are having right now and appreciate how miraculous everything is. When you look at your life as it in this moment, what are you grateful for? When you look at everything as a miracle, you can fully realize how good life is!

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Reawakening Grief

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Every day when I wake up, I remember waking up in that room with my amazing husband. We considered that room our sacred space. Most mornings I wake happy and grateful to have spent ten years in his arms and heart. Then sometimes I wake up empty. On days like that, I know to pay attention.

When we get reminders of our loved ones, it seems to me that they are sending messages.  I sit now on my lanai, Hawaiian word for patio, in the same chair I sat in while Ron was in the chair next to me.  I feel his comfort and presence in this lovely space. I know he inspires me as I write, and that we are still helping people together. In moments like this, I experience that joy that comes with grief when you get to the point of acceptance of your loss.

Think about places you can be or go that were special to you and your loved one.  When you are there, sometimes there may be tears with the overflow of your love dripping out. Feel that feeling. Experience that experience. The more you do, the more comfort you will grow into with those memories.  The space of your grief expands to allow the happiness and joy you crave as you remember.

Whenever your grief reawakens, sit with it.  Contemplate it. What is it telling you? Some people feel that grief is always sad and needs to be avoided, but when you sit with it, spending time with precious memories, seeing how these memories inspire you now as you move foreword can feel like a precious hug from your loved one, letting you know all is well and that the love you shared is eternal.

I heard someone say, if your memories are not giving you the answers you are looking for, maybe you are remembering the wrong ones. What memories can you focus on to bring you the inspiration and comfort you are seeking? Those are the memories to cherish.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Want to Feel Good?

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Did you know that you can contribute to your own feeling good? You may be surprised that you do without even realizing what you are up to. Our miraculous bodies are always working to serve us to live our best lives, but they can do even better with a little help from us.

When we are grieving, our minds may try to convince us that we can’t smile or laugh or that we don’t deserve to feel good. Unfortunately, many of us listen to that negative often because we just don’t have the energy to object. Fortunately though, you have mighty endorphins in your body who would love to come to your rescue!

Meet your superhero Endy the Endorphin! Endy is an old name which has many meanings including Magical woman, loyal, kind, sweet, and strong. Knowing that Endy resides in all of us, and she is happy to serve can bring us much comfort! She can release feel good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin.

Here are some of the many benefits of experiencing the joys endorphins.

  • Reduced Depression
  • Improved self- esteem
  • Reduced Anxiety
  • Reduced pain
  • A boosted immunity
  • Regulated appetite https://bit.ly/3RJbuXj (source)

What do you need to do to call in your new best friend Endy the Endorphan?  It’s easy! Just issue your clarion call to Endy by generating a big smile, or better yet laughter, even a big belly laugh. This simple process that we all can do invites Endy to release all those lovely endorphins that light us up like when we get a big loving hug from someone special, or when you find out you’re going to be a grandparent, or when you see the most beautiful rainbow you can imagine.

What are you waiting for? Look n the mirror and see how big you can make your beautiful smile knowing that Endy’s help is on the way!

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Happy Days

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I facilitate the Grief and Happiness Alliance every week on Zoom.  Each week we do some writing related to our situations and we end with learning different happiness practices. Every gathering ends with the participants smiling. Being around people who are also grieving or dealing with loss is a great place to share and get support.

This week, instead of our usual format, we wrote about happiness.  We started with a short meditation where I encouraged the participants to remember times in their lives when they were especially happy. Then I asked them to make a list of things they have been happy about. They didn’t need to write about each experience, just identify it.  For instance, I was happy at my wedding to Ron and my wedding to Jacques.  I could have written a big, long story about each of these and all the other things I thought of. But I stuck with making a list, and by the end of the meeting, I had over 70 items on my list!

We all wrote long lists and enjoyed sharing our favorite happy moments. All the participants found joy in our moments together.  I am sharing this with you to encourage you to make a list like this too!  Aim for at least 100 things.  I know that sounds like a lot, but the more your write, the more you will think of, and the more you will smile.

And it doesn’t have to end there.  If you get to a point where you are feeling a little down, get out your journal and your list.  Pick one thing on the list and write about it in detail including everything that made you happy during that experience.  The more often you do this, the more often you will feel yourself smiling and the longer that happiness will last.

Every morning when I write in my journal, I write about what brought me the most joy the day before. This is a great way to start my days.  It also keeps me thinking throughout the day about what is bringing me happiness. What you focus on is what you experience. You can be so much happier just by focusing on happiness!  Try it and let me know how good it feels.

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763