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Happiness

Freedom From Problems

February 4, 2021 by Emily Thiroux

Often when grieving and dealing with loss, we feel like life in general is one big problem. We spend our days navigating from one problem to the next. We think if only I could go visit with friends, if only I could keep my home clean, if only I had something constructive to do, if only I could get into an exercise routine, and on and on and on.

You think that once all these problems are solved, you can be happy, you can relax, you won’t have any more problems, but is that true? Not really.  I lived a lot of my life in the “if only” zone. If only I had a degree. If only I had more money. If only I had a wonderful relationship. If only I had another degree. If only I had my own theatre and school of arts.  Each time I accomplished one of these things, the next one was there waiting.

Does this sound familiar to you? You may be living in the “if only” zone too. I hear you saying, but I really want all those things I am saying “if only” about. And I am not saying you can’t have them. When you focus on something, when you give all your attention to it, the result of this is for it to take more and more of your energy, and you have less and less energy to devote to everything else in your life.  The key here is balance.

When I decided to get a master’s degree, it consumed more and more of my energy until I wasn’t focusing on anything else. I spent less and less time with my family, I cooked less, I didn’t participate in organizations I loved, I was lost in books, writing, and studying. While I ultimately reached my goal, the process was grueling, and I was kind of miserable which affected those I loved most.   Reflecting, I see how I could have taken more time to get my degree which would have allowed me more time for what I loved and was missing out on.

Here is how I handled a situation now where there was something I wanted. In dealing with my grief after Ron died, I did a lot of writing, and out of that writing, I was inspired to write a book. My intention was to provide comfort, love, and support to those dealing with loss. I completed the book, then without any effort, I discovered who my agent was supposed to be. We discussed the kind of publisher we wanted, and we started researching. Instead of spending lots of time on getting a publisher, I set my intention to have the perfect publisher for my book.  In the meantime, I found other ways to offer comfort, love, and support to grievers. And I spent my time enjoying my life; I even travelled to Bali pre-Covid. In due time, my agent and I found the perfect publisher and my book is published and available at a time when there is unprecedented grief and loss in so many ways.

Now I choose to focus my energy on what I want. I use my energy positively to create the life I desire to live. Knowing that my energy will expand where I focus, I focus on solutions instead of problems. The result?  I’m not dealing with problems. And life is good!

 

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief  by clicking here at Amazon.

I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.

Filed Under: Happiness, Intentions, pressure, Support, Uncategorized Tagged With: bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one, practicing gratitude

A Fresh Start

January 20, 2021 by Emily Thiroux

We are all ready for a fresh start!  Actually, we get to have a fresh start every day. I have noticed this to be especially true for those dealing with loss.  And while we may think we are ready, we actually need to take action to make it happen.

Waking up each day after my husband died was always kind of a shock. I would be all ready to cuddle up next to him, then I couldn’t. That still happens some mornings. I had to adjust to this so I wouldn’t stay stuck in that lonely place. I started by realizing that each day was a fresh start, a new opportunity to experience every moment.

Every morning I would journal. I thought about discovering my purpose. What did I want to do? And I explored listing things that would make me happy, bring me joy. I started small by choosing one thing I could do, then I progressed from there.  I would choose something like making a list of people I would like to reconnect with.  I prioritized my list and started writing an email or text to one person on the list each day. Writing instead of calling helped with the anxiety I had that I might break down if I heard their voices. This simple practice started bringing me much needed human connection.  Most people wrote back, and hearing from them felt so good.  The more I wrote these notes, the better I felt, and the longer the list got!

Reaching out was a small step, and doing it boosted my mood and opened my curiosity as to what to do next.  I realized that I was in control of my ability to move forward, to discover what I wanted or needed out of each moment.  If something didn’t turn out the way I imagined it would, I saw that in the next moment, I could try something different.  I didn’t put pressure on myself, and I was grateful for my new experiences.

When 2021 came, I knew this was a big fresh start, yet the start of the year was a little rocky. So now I am declaring for myself that today, 1 20 21 is my new fresh start.  I am making a list of things to focus on and to experience.  At the top of that list is staying positive. I will smile as I go about my day and always actively practice gratitude. I encourage you to recognize your fresh start too!  What will you focus on?

 

This week is the fresh start for my new book, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief which launches this week. This book is a demonstration of a huge fresh start for me after Ron died. I started writing a little big each day, and that led to this beautiful book that I know will bring comfort and help to all who read it.

 

If you would like to attend the book launch for Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, please email me at emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and I will send you a Zoom link.

You can preorder the book by clicking here at Amazon.

I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.

Filed Under: Creativity, Grief, Happiness, journaling, Joy, Support, Uncategorized Tagged With: bereavement cycle, bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one, practicing gratitude

Busy-ness

January 6, 2021 by Emily Thiroux

 

Do you go to bed with your mind sorting out all the things you have to do, then wake up with more things on your list? That’s been me lately.  I have been doing well for a long time with keeping things balanced and prioritizing but have found myself being somewhat overwhelmed and with getting ready to launch my book, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, on January 23. I am even starting to feel a bit stressed.

For most of my life I did so much that when I was asked if I was stressed, I would say “Stress is my life.” Now I know that doesn’t serve me, and I have been feeling great with my well-balanced life, but this incredible opportunity of getting my book out there is something I plan to do my very best at, so I am busy.  Realizing that January 23rd is coming soon is a blessing.  This high level of activity won’t last forever, so I am figuring out how to make the best use of my time while taking care of myself. These are a couple of things you can do too when you get busy or stressed.

First, I am my priority. Like what the flight attendants used to tell us back when we could fly, “Put the oxygen mask on yourself first.”  When I get busy or stressed, I easily forget to eat wisely and drink water.  Now, I set good nutrition and hydration as a number one priority.  If I don’t have the fuel, I can get anything done.

Second, I start each say with my spiritual practice where I meditate, write in my journal, write what I am grateful for, write my affirmations, write my intention, and write something that brought me joy the day before. This may seem like a lot, but it doesn’t take long and brings focus into my life.  This also allows me to prioritize what is most important.

When I do each of these things intentionally each day, everything just falls into place.  My breathing slows, I smile, and the day is beautiful.

I am so glad I wrote this today! I feel much better now!

 

Send me an email if you would like to receive an invitation to my book launch on Zoom January 23 at 11 AM PST. emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com

Pre-order my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Sign up for my free Zoom class: Writing Together Through Grief by clicking here.

Filed Under: Happiness, Health, Support, Uncategorized Tagged With: bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one

New Year, New You

December 30, 2020 by Emily Thiroux

My sister came home from rehearsal at the Barn Theatre for A Christmas Carol frustrated a week before the show was scheduled to open.  The little boy playing the part of Tim Tim’s big brother had dropped out of the show. Always one to come to the rescue, she suggested to the director that I could play the part.  I was about the same size as the little boy, so the costume would fit, and she could bring me to the theatre every night. So, I was cast in my first play when I was in third grade.  Little did I know at the time that this was the beginning of my love for theatre and the arts for my lifetime.  I felt at home on the stage and was fascinated by all aspects of the production.

Fast forward fifty something years, and I was standing in my theatre and school of arts that I had created in a beautiful 100-year-old building in downtown Bakersfield.  I had a lifetime of experience in every aspect of theatre and was ready to use it all. Our first show was of our summer children’s workshop production of Annie. The packed house and the thrilled children pouring their hearts out on the stage showed me that dreams can come true. But Spotlight Theatre was more than a dream; it was an intention I set before I even knew what setting intentions was all about.

Looking back on my life now, I see that I have been setting intentions all along and seeing them come in to being.  Once I committed to something in my heart, it would eventually come into being, sometimes many years later. And whatever I dreamed always turned out to be so much more than I had imagined.  When my husband Ron taught me about the principle of setting intentions, I realized that I was a master at it already, but discovering how it worked, I was thrilled to set my intentions now intentionally.

I had heard the adage, be careful what you wish for. I turned that around for me to carefully intend what I desired.  In writing my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, I started out with the intention of helping my friend Lori deal with the sudden death of her husband Chappy.  Helping her was my intention not knowing where that would lead me.  I started by writing her a letter, then I decided to write her a note every week for the first year. When I had written the content for all the notes I would send, I realized that the notes made an outline for a book. Though I had written college textbooks before, I was in new territory now and knew I needed help. That’s when I discovered my amazing agent and coach Meriflor who held my hand through the process to write the book and find the perfect publisher. And now my book launches January 19, 2021.

As this new year starts, what is it that you would love to do or be? There are no limits. Take some time to write a list of what you crave, what you would love to do, what you are ready to have. Out of all you write down, what do you desire the most? Write it as clearly as you imagine it, then know that it is already happening. Put what you write where you can see it every day and believe that it is true. Then watch what happens. Intentionally intend your best life.

When did my writing career actually start? Many years ago I sat in a college writing class listening to the instructor share about how his editor had taken him to the best restaurant in town to celebrate the signing of the contract for his new book.  At that moment, I said that I would do that one day too. And I did.  Though my first book came many years later, a fond memory I have was my editor from Prentice Hall taking me out to eat at the Oak Room in the Plaza Hotel in Manhattan overlooking Central Park.  Sitting the I reflected on that day in my writing class years before that I knew I was going to be an author.

 

Pre-order my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Sign up for my free Zoom class: Writing Together Through Grief by clicking here.

Filed Under: Creativity, Happiness, Holidays, Intentions, Joy, Support Tagged With: bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one, practicing gratitude

My Holiday Gifts for You

December 23, 2020 by Emily Thiroux

Holidays can be a challenge when dealing with loss, so I have a little “pick me up” for you! As I was considering what I would do to make the holiday season the best for me, I came up with so many things that I decided to put them into a little class for you.  The class has 12 sessions, one day at a time, to do in December.  The class is totally free, and you can share it if you like. It also provides a way for us to stay in touch as you are participating. It doesn’t take much time and is designed to bring you smiles.

To sign up, just go to Find Your Holiday Joy!   https://www.reclaimingyourjoywithemily.com/offers/M72VdL8y

You can start anytime you like, and a new class will open each day for 12 days.

Be sure to take time to take care of yourself during this season. Know that certain memories are likely to trigger tears, and if they do, remember to smile and remember the love you shared.

I am also thrilled to announce that I am a featured presenter in AfterChloe & Friends: Resilience OnlineSummit. I would personally love to invite you. Click here for free access to this powerful Summit. Link to Summit

After Chloe Summit

 

I was interviewed on The Beautiful Network of Women radio blog show.  We talked about how to find your joy during the holidays.

Making it Through the Holidays by Taking Care of You

 

And, to network with friends, please join our private Facebook groups: Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, Reclaiming Your Joy After Loss, and Writing Through Grief With Emily. This is a great place to share feelings and get support from others on this journey.

Search those group names in Facebook to join

I look forward to hearing from you and helping you to have happier holidays!

Love,

Emily

Pre-order my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Sign up for my free Zoom class: Writing Together Through Grief by clicking here.

 

Filed Under: Happiness, Holidays, Joy Tagged With: bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one, practicing gratitude

All I Need

December 17, 2020 by Emily Thiroux

 

Holidays can hit hard for those dealing with losing a loved one. This year seems to be even more challenging with all that’s happening with the pandemic.  I woke up thinking this morning about what I can do to keep my spirits up.

There is a commercial on TV right now that uses the old song by Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terrill song “You’re All I Need to Get By,” and it’s got that song sticking in my head.  Not the whole song, just the words “All I Need.” The words have me thinking, what do I need?

Need defined means something essential. As I look at my life right now, I already have all I need. Yet life can always be better.  We can always take steps to brighten our way.

I have healthy coping mechanisms.  I spend time outside each day. I eat good food to nourish me as much as I can from my garden. And I do occasionally indulge in a little treat just to enjoy.

I have regular exercise just by walking around where I live. My property is on the side of a dormant volcano, so just walking around the property, up and down the hills, gives me good exercise.  And I also walk around the neighborhood and on the beach early in the morning when no one else is around.

I have loving friends.  In Hawaii the word for family is Ohana, and I have an Ohana of choice filled with dear friends.  We love and support each other, even from a distance, caring for keeping each other safe during the pandemic.

I have my book and all the new relationships that is bringing.  I have met many new friends online, and I provide support however I can through my classes, groups, talks, and writing. I have grown close to people who live far away and know I am helping to make a difference in their lives.

I have my spiritual practice. Every day I write in my journal, meditate, write my gratitude, write my intentions, write my affirmations, and write what brought me joy the day before.  Starting each day this way reminds me that I truly do have all I need.

I have the memories of two wonderful men with relationships filled with love and marvelous experiences. They each brought so much to my life that I am grateful for. I cherish those memories and keep them alive by writing about them.

 

Pre-order my book Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here.

Sign up for my free Zoom class: Writing Together Through Grief by clicking here.

Filed Under: Community, Gratitude, Grief, Happiness, Holidays, Joy, Love Tagged With: bereavement gifts, grieving cycle, healthy coping mechanisms, how to deal with grief, losing a loved one, practicing gratitude

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