The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Joy

Growing and Moving Forward

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A group of friends from all over the country gathered online in the Summer of 2021 to explore the concept of grieving and being happy at the same time. Over the course of several meetings, we were convinced that was not only a concept, but it is also the truth.

Before we started this conversation, I had been facilitating a writing through grief group. We loved doing this, but I felt something was missing. As I completed Marci Shimoff’s Happy For No Reason Certified Trainer Program, I realized Happiness is exactly what I wanted to include for the people coming to me for comfort.

This group brought the inspiration we loved, and we loved the idea so much, we brought it into action with our creativity. And this group was inspired to also create a nonprofit organization to fund all of this so anyone who wants to can come to our gatherings and find comfort, support, love, and happiness.

Since the summer of 2021, we have accomplished much by doing things like creating  online events for people to come together and discover ways for them to find happiness, creating a movie club, where we come together to discuss movies we choose that feature grief, happiness, or both. We also co-hosted the international summit From Mourning to Light to offer inspiration to people showing them that they can grieve and be happy at the same time. We created a Grief and Happiness Facilitator training program.  And we published the Grief and Happiness Handbook and the Grief and Happiness Cards, with all profit going to the foundation we created.

Whew! That’s a lot! And there is much more we plan to do. The thing is, as we grow in all we do, we are serving more people. And that’s where you come in. We see that when people come to our gatherings because a friend , who is already attending the gatherings, invited them to come, are motivated to come and to keep attending. Who can you invite? Holding each other up is comforting and motivating to you both! If you haven’t been attending, now is the time to start! If you are attending, who can you bring with you?

The Grief and Happiness Nonprofit organization is welcoming people who would love this opportunity to serve this community of people who are benefiting from the love and comfort you can provide. Please let us know how you would love to be involved.

Serving you all is the joy of my life. You too will feel much joy, love, and comfort by serving along with us.

 

Click on this link for a list of areas you can choose from or suggest something you would like to do. The list is at the bottom of the page.

You can click on this email link to to offer what you would like to do.

Click here for a printable link of opportunities. 29 Opportunities to Serve the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization

 

 

The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings which meet weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

2023

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A friend told me that she couldn’t wait for 2023 to be over because so many terrible things happened. I found myself making a list of those things. There were so many, and they seem to be multiplying towards the end of the year. Then an oft heard saying came to mind, “What you resist persists.” So, I made the decision to make a list of the beautiful things I remember instead. This is part of my list which could have gone on for pages:

  • New babies were born in my family.
  • I am loving learning to do watercolor painting and making new friends in the process.
  • The company I am part owner of is thriving still after 63 years.
  • Relationships I have are deepening and becoming more precious.
  • I am healthy and strong after dealing with a few challenges this year.
  • I have accepted invitations which lead to beautiful experiences.
  • My new book was published and became a best seller.
  • I published my beautiful Grief and Happiness Cards.
  • Maui has become green again after a long period of brown.
  • The Grief and Happiness Alliance Gatherings are growing and bring happiness to those who attend.
  • My podcast has more than 12,000 downloads and attendance is growing.
  • I helped co-create a new facilitator training program for the Grief and Happiness Alliance.
  • Dear friends came to visit me in Maui.
  • My vegetable garden is thriving.
  • I am loving teaching journaling classes.
  • I provided shelter to evacuees from the wildfires on Maui.
  • I learned how to cook Chinese food that I love.
  • I have made new friends.
  • I attended a powerful film festival.
  • I have enjoyed many beautiful sunsets and rainbows.
  • I attended a weeklong seminar in caring for the dying which was deep and beautiful.
  • I discovered how wonderful the chocolate from Maui Ku’ia Estate is.
  • I enjoyed going to hear live music.
  • I notice the positivity and smiles in all my experiences.
  • And much more.

While some of the events from this year were tragic, I saw the beauty of people being generous and serving people experiencing unthinkable loss.

I encourage you to make a list of the joy and beauty you experienced in 2023, and focus on that and discover how you can expand it during 2024.

I started writing this inspired by “What you resist persists,” but I have changed my mantra to “What you embrace thrives.” What will you embrace from your experience of 2023?

I wish for you great beauty, comfort, support, love, and happiness in 2024.

 

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

Holiday Help

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Dreading the holidays is common while grieving, but this doesn’t have to be the case for you. The length of time that’s passed from when grief started doesn’t matter. My Dad died 34 years ago, and I remember him every Christmas thinking of the Santa outfit I made him because he loved giving presents to the children. The difference is now I smile instead of cry when that memory shows up.

When you are feeling a bit fragile during the holiday season, there are many ways to help you deal with this. Taking advantage of these ideas can brighten your days. Here are some things to consider:

  • Take good care of yourself. Do whatever is right for you. Get plenty of rest. Eat well. Drink lots of water. Go for a walk. Do whatever feels best for you right now.
  • Accept or decline invitations. If you are ready to celebrate, celebrate. If you are not feeling up to being around lots of people, don’t. Or if you are lonely, find the people you would like to be with and schedule something.
  • Pay attention to your grief.  If you need to cry, take time to do that. Consider why the tears are coming at that time, and deal with whatever that is.
  • Write in your journal.  Writing a holiday letter to a loved one who has transitioned can be comforting. Most of us have several letters we could write and each one would be different. You may even experience some form of response to those you write to.
  • Appreciate what you do experience or have. Write a gratitude list that includes things like special memories you have of your loved ones at holiday time. And include things people have done for you to comfort you in your grief.
  • Spend time with people you love. Being with friends and family can be uplifting. If you can’t be present with them, call them or write them.
  • Create new memories. What new traditions can you start? Try going to special events. Or add a different menu for your holiday dinner or breakfast.
  • Ask for help if you need to, or you want support. Reach out to whoever you think would be best for you, maybe a friend, a counselor, a minister.

Focus on the joy you can experience every day. You can do this. I know you can. Allow yourself the ease and grace that allows you to live your best life.

Happy Holidays!

 

Sign up for our free self-paced class: Find Your Holiday Joy! by clicking here.

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

Holidays Checklist

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I interviewed Lisa Hepner, author of The Christmas Checklist, for my podcast and was so inspired. The book is about a dying mother who was concerned about how her daughter would handle the Christmas season without her. Her daughter, Emily, discovered the list after her mother transitioned and allowed it to help her through the holidays.

When I think of lists for Christmas, I think of writing who I need to find gifts for, who I will send cards to, and all the things I need to get done. Emily’s mother’s list is so different from that. Each item of this list was carefully chosen as a different way of handling the season. The twelve items on the list included things like:

  • Volunteer for a cause.
  • Do something you are afraid of.
  • Forgive a grudge. Life is too short to hold grudges.

As I followed Emily’s journey of completing every item on the list, I could see how through following her mother’s loving guidance, Emily discovered her holiday joy. This inspired me to write my own Holiday Checklist, and to complete every item on it. When I told Lisa about my list, she smiled and said that was exactly what she wanted people to do when they read her book.

Here’s my list:

  1. Make a new friend.
  2. Spend some time with an old friend I haven’t seen lately.
  3. Bake cookies and share them with my neighbors.
  4. Go to a concert.
  5. Create my own Christmas cards and mail them.
  6. Learn something new.
  7. Spend some time outside every day.
  8. Write something in my journal every day that brings me joy.
  9. Surprise someone with an anonymous gift.
  10. Do something special just for me.

Just reading my list makes me smile with anticipation of the holiday joy completing it will bring me. What will you include on your Holiday Checklist? I hope you will share your list with me! I know this project will bring you holiday joy!

 

To get a free copy of Lisa’s list, click here:

https://thechristmaschecklist.com/

The Christmas Checklist has been made into a movie on Amazon Prime and can be seen on CBS.

Just to let you know the movie, The Christmas Checklist, is streaming on Amazon Prime, Roku, Tubi and Peacock. It’s about an hour and 45 minutes.
The limited series (4 episodes, 45 minutes each) is on You Tube. (Part 3 and 4 will be uploaded on Friday). In case you want to watch.Lots of viewing options.

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

Grateful for Love

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Holidays bring memories of our precious loved ones who aren’t at the table. Try finding ways to feel their presence.  I start every day with my journal, so on holidays I always write to my loved ones. Many of us have the tradition of saying what we are thankful for at the table before we eat. I do that, and I also write in my journal something I am grateful for about my loved ones. And I record special memories. Starting my day that way allows me to feel their comfort all day.

I remember home cured olives mom’s friends would bring. I remember putting my handprint on a steamy kitchen window while relishing the fragrance of sage and thyme. I remember laughter and storytelling at the table. Most Thanksgivings I’ve invited people who don’t have someplace else to go. We’ve had traveling nurses, actors, friends we rarely saw, and even ex-wives—. We share memories of our loved ones and often raise a toast in honor of them.

I usually don’t wear jewelry any more with my casual island lifestyle. But during the holidays I make an exception. I’ll wear the ruby ring my Daddy gave me for my 16th birthday to remember him by. I wear the ring Jacques had made for me with my children’s birthstones. I wear my wedding ring and Ron’s that I had fused together. And I wear lots of other beautiful things that remind me of the great lives I have experienced, and still experience now in a different way.

For dinner we have special foods that say Thanksgiving to me. I love to make the herby dressing my mom did and the cornbread stuffing my mother-in-law Fran always made. And I always make what mom called Waldorf salad that isn’t like any recipe I’ve seen. Most people don’t care for it, but for my son and I, it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without  its yumminess.

And the day wouldn’t be complete without music, so in the background there will always be some J. S. Bach and some smooth jazz. Make your holiday special, even if you aren’t preparing a feast. Fill it with loving memories and smiles. Text your loved ones who aren’t there with you, and savor the love you have had throughout your life.

I’m sending you lots of comfort for a day filled with love.

 

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order The Grief and Happiness Cards by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here. https://a.co/d/eWNx3j1

 

The Gifts You Give Blog

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This year seems to have flown by. November suddenly appeared on my calendar and all those end-of-year have-tos took over my mind like Christmas cards, gifts, gatherings, and special events. I took a deep breath and made a decision to be mindful this holiday season. I am making a list of all I think I should do, and when I finish that list, I will go back and eliminate anything that doesn’t make me happy. I already feel better about the season.

Of the items I have left on my list, I am planning when to accomplish them being sure not to plan them too close together to allow me the space to relax and enjoy what I do. For instance, I love to make Christmas cards. I’ve been thinking all year of the design for the front of the card. I have been using drawings that I have done for about five years. Since I have been doing watercolor painting this year, I am switching to that.

Ron and I wrote together the sentiment we put inside of every card. I’ve used those same words for about eight years, so this year I am writing something fresh. And I am creating those cards by the third week in November so they will be mailed at the start of December with no stress.

I am also creating a list of who I will give gifts to. I’ve noticed that I have been receiving fewer gifts each year, so this year I am examining my gift list to make thoughtful choices of the people I give gifts to. I used to feel obligated to give many gifts which was a burden on my time and resources. I see now that I was choosing to do that, and I no longer feel the need to make that choice. I feel relieved already!

Minimal decorations for my home will allow it to feel more spacious and showcase the items I have collected over the years that I cherish and bring me memories that make me smile. That way there is not as much put out and then put away later.

Taking the time to write this has allowed me to see that I am simplifying my December plans so much that have nothing to stress about this season. This is allowing me to experience the peace and grace of the season that I have been much too busy to enjoy in the past. This is the best gift I can give to myself.

What can you do now at the beginning of November to allow you to experience your best holiday season ever? Happy holidays!

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling The Grief and Happiness Handbook by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here