The Grief and Happiness Alliance

Joy

When I Let Go

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Rev Rachel Hollander, the President of the board of the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization, has a beautiful singing voice and is an accomplished song writer, so when she invited me to attend the service on Zoom of the Washington DC Unity Church where she would be singing three songs, I knew I had to attend even though at was at 5 AM Maui time where I live. I am so glad I did!

All week last week when I awakened in the morning l could hear her singing one of the songs she wrote and sang at that service. The name of the song is Float because it came to here fully formed when she was in a flotation tank. The words that reached me deeply are “When I Let Go.”

On the third day in a row I was singing that refrain, I finally got it. That was a message to me. I have lived such a busy life. I always had more to do, not out of obligation, but out of passion. I love my life, and I keep getting inspired to do more. And I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I put a lot of pressure on me to have things exactly the way I want them.

As I heard those lyrics, I knew it was time for a big change. This week I was getting ready to go to Unity Village in Missouri to speak at their grief retreat. We’ve been planning it for months, and I was ready to leave. Then my flight got delayed, which meant that I would not be able to catch my connecting flight. So I saw this as a time to let go. My good friend Shena, who made the flight arrangements for me, was able to get me booked on a different airline, and she got a refund for the other flight.

It was Sunday, and I wasn’t able to reach the person in Missouri who was handling the arrangements for me on that end, so I figured out how to change my transportation from the airport. Although I arrived a day later than planned, I had initially scheduled to arrive a day early to help me with the jet lag from the five hour time difference, so everything worked out perfectly.

In the past, I would have been a nervous wreck. This time I chose to let all that stress go. Everything was handled with ease and grace, and I ended up with a free day to relax with a good book.

I am looking at my life and realize that I will now focus on being rather than doing. And in paying attention, I also see that I had already started this awhile ago.  Now I am being mindful of this change, and you know what? It feels great. I have so much more room and time to be at peace, to listen when someone speaks to me, and to focus on taking care of myself first so that I am present in all I do to live my best life.

How about you? What can you let go of to enhance your beautiful life?

 

You can listen to Rev Rachel’s beautiful song here.

Rev Rachel Hollander

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Miracles Already Are

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How many miracles have you experienced in your life? I’ll bet you can’t count them. Most of us go through life without realizing that each of our lives is a miracle. Every moment of our lives is a miracle.

When I was training to be a nurse, I was required to observe a surgery being done. I had studied anatomy and physiology but seeing it from the inside out was life changing for me. To see what a stomach actually looked like, and to see the peristalsis (continuous movement) of the intestines ushering the patient’s waste out of his body. Wow. Just wow.  The miracle of our body’s diligence at keeping us functional and alive will always amaze me.

Think of the miracle of thinking! And talking. And reading. And walking. And I look outside at the miracle of the avocados growing on the tree to feed us, the wind blowing to freshen the air, and the raindrops bringing precious moisture to our vegetable garden.

I have a hard time thinking of things I wouldn’t consider a miracle.  We do not have to create miracles because they are already there

I do believe that we are responsible for what we do with all these miracles that come our way. I believe that falling in love is a miracle whether it’s with your new partner, your new baby, or your new puppy. The love we share is such a gift.

My point here is to encourage us all to take a look at this life experience that we are having right now and appreciate how miraculous everything is. When you look at your life as it in this moment, what are you grateful for? When you look at everything as a miracle, you can fully realize how good life is!

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Ordinary Moments

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Our lives are made up of millions of moments every day, every hour, every minutes. Some of our moments are spectacular, while most are what we experience we would probably consider as ordinary.  How can we up the number of spectacular, or at least wonderful, moments in our lives?

Think about your day today.  Anything wonderful yet?  Today is special to me, my birthday.  So far, I have had over 200 birthday wishes on Facebook!  I have been hearing from old and new friends, and even from many people I don’t know! And I did a Facebook Fundraiser for the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization, and over $500 has been donated so far! So many birthdays I have celebrated in the past were lonely, but now each birthday seems so special.

I am visiting in California right now. I came to Ventura to visit a dear friend.  When I arrived, I was overwhelmed by memories of moments.  I lived here with my husband Ron for six beautiful years.  I thought this was my forever home.  I made many special friends, I created lots of art, and I loved the beauty here. As I entered my friend’s home, I realized how many special memories we share. I saw many of my works of art she has collected over the years, and I thought of the many pieces of glass work she has done for me.

I have the sweet memory of the beautiful little wedding Ron and I had here and the lively parties we hosted. I remember the longs walks and the special charming downtown area. And everywhere is close to the beach which isn’t crowded.  I loved the First Friday celebrations we had going to many open artists’ studios.  And the restaurants are so good! When we manifested our house, Ron wanted to live in the country, and I wanted to live in town.  We found a unique house that was built in the 40’s, had 14 mature Hass avocado trees, was walking distance to the hills, was a mile from the beach, and a block from Main Street with restaurants and more! I thought it was our forever home and had some tears when I arrived.

I do love my home in Maui now too.  I have wonderful neighbors, my own studios for my art, a huge garden of vegetables and fruits, a bicoastal view, and so many great friends. I love all the beaches, the upcountry area where I live, and all the great restaurants, concerts, and art galleries.  And I can write and teach and facilitate meetings from my quiet home.

When I look at all these things, I realize that my life is made up of many miraculous, beautiful moments, and I can’t help but smile! How have your moments been today? Can you transform some into little miracles? I hope so!  That feels so good!

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

Incredibly Beautiful

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Sometimes I hear a quote that resonates with me, and that happened when I was watching the final episode of This is Us. Someone said “The end is not sad. It’s just the start of the next incredibly beautiful thing.” At the Zoom meeting of the Grief and Happiness Alliance each week we always start by writing about something that has to do with our grief and then we talk about what we write. This quote reminded me of my husbands, so I suggested that we write about it at our last meeting. Thinking of Ron, this is what I wrote:

“Ron transitioned on Friday evening.  His friends who had gathered stayed through the weekend before going back to the mainland. They took me along with them to go dancing where one of them played guitar and sang and a singer who is a good friend was singing too. They played every Sunday evening on a patio outside a golf club restaurant where the view of the ocean and the sunset was so beautiful. I sat there in kind of a fog listening to the music that Ron and I used to enjoy dancing to. They played a slow song that was one of our favorites. I closed my eyes, but the silent tears flowed anyway. When the song finished, there was an unusual silence. I opened my eyes to discover the musicians, all our friends, and even people I barely knew had circled around me showing their love and support. I knew then that I was not alone in my grief and was being held up by their love and strength.”

Then just last week I had this beautiful experience. “Last night I went to a jazz and blues concert in support of the Children’s Arts and Education Group, an organization I support because of all the support they have been to Jacques’ granddaughter, (she calls me grandma), and her husband in creating the Maui Jazz Camp. The they played an amazing version of Someday My Prince Will Come. I closed my eyes, and my husbands, Jacques and Ron, both appeared in my mind.  I danced with them both, one at a time. We swirled, and dipped, and smiled. The dancing was magical. They both were so strong and handsome. I felt the presence of them both and their love and their support. A profound experience and I am grateful.”

Recalling incredibly beautiful moments can bring you warm smiles, and maybe a few tears. And they can remind you of the wonder of loving someone, or two, so deeply.

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

People Need People

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I love the singer, Michael Franti. I listen to his music often and I admire his commitment to people and the world and his generous soul. His new album came out recently, and one of the songs in particular on it resonated with me. The name of the song is People Need People. When I heard it the first time, I saw how true the lyrics are for everyone, but especially for those dealing with grief and loss.

Here are some of my favorite lines:

This guitar needs six strings
‘Cause without it there’s no song
And this house needs love in it
‘Cause without it there’s no home

And there’s one thing that I’ve learned
Through this year of being alone
I can feel it in my bones
More than anything I’ve ever known

That’s people need, people need, people need people

. . . .

We are all on the same road
Walking different directions
All cursed by the curses
And all blessed by the blessings
Through the reach of a hand or a smile for a while
You could feel the connection
Even in the times when you think you’re all alone, don’t

‘Cause people need, people need, people need people

 

I have heard from so many people that the hardest thing they deal with when grieving is the lack of someone to talk to and listen to, especially someone who is also dealing with grief and loss.  That’s a big reason why we created the Grief and Happiness Alliance. At our Zoom meetings, we can freely express whatever we need to talk about.  That makes a huge difference in the lives of the people who come to the meetings.  You are always welcome to join us at the Alliance, and it’s also great to discover people who live where you do that you can communicate with too.

Now I look forward to the Sunday Zoom meeting of the Grief and Happiness Alliance where we explore our thoughts by writing, we talk about what we wrote, and we do happiness practices, so we always end on a positive note with everyone smiling. I have made good friends in the Alliance, and that feels so good!

So as Michael Franti’s song says, People need people!

You can listen to it here. I highly recommend the whole album.

People Need People

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here

 

Everything is a Miracle

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Do you recognize when miracles occur in your life? I hadn’t considered this before, but once I started noticing miracles, I started noticing how I have experienced so many miracles though-out my life.

Miracles can be huge, and they also can be very small. You may not have thought about this before, but chances are you are experiencing miracles too, and you have been all along but may not have been aware when they happened. As I look back, I remember the miracle of getting accepted at the last minute to San Diego State University. I see this as a miracle because I had a major health challenge in high school and was barely able to graduate with a grade point average that normally wouldn’t have qualified.

My husband and I bought our first house together in 2009 at a great price because of the financial crisis in our country. A year later, my elderly mother-in-law needed to move in with us, and our home was comfortable for just two people. We decided to sell it and buy another. Our real estate agent warned us we would be losing money because of the financial crisis.  We sold the house that we had only owned for a year at a significant profit a week after we listed it, and we bought another, much bigger home in a wonderful location for $200,000 lest than it was listed for. I know we were blessed with this miracle because we welcomed my mother-in-law to live with us.

Recently when I was driving on a divided highway, a truck crossed the center divider headed directly headed at the driver’s door at high speed. When I saw him coming toward me, I closed my eyes thinking there was no way I could survive this. I heard and felt the thump as he hit my car. I was shocked when I opened my eyes and saw that my car was not destroyed, only three thousand dollars’ worth of damage that his insurance covered. And he didn’t hit anyone else as he continued speeding head on into traffic until he could pull off to the side of the road. The witnesses were shocked that the driver, my son, and I weren’t killed. I know this was a miracle.

Just last week in the middle of the night we were experiencing a big windstorm. We have power lines that go across our property and into the tree of my friend’s house across the road. The wind snapped the power lines which set the trees on fire as the wires dropped to the ground. This could have been a catastrophe. Instead, our homes didn’t catch on fire, no one was injured, and the power company came out the next day and did a nice trimming on what was left of the trees. Everyone affected by this are so grateful for this miracle.

Beyond the many big miracles I experience, I experience little miracles every day. I almost always get right to the front of any line I am in, and I always find parking places easily.  I also get where I am going at the time that I plan to.  Every day I now notice the miracles I experience, and I am grateful.

The title of this blog is a quote by Albert Einstein: “Everything is a Miracle.”

Notice and enjoy all your miracles!

Everything is a Miracle

 

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.

Join my Facebook group here.