The Grief and Happiness Alliance

friends

Who is Your Ohana?

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When I first moved to Maui, I didn’t really know anyone.  Ron had lived here years before I met him, so he had built-in friends who also became my friends. Because Ron was dealing with health challenges, I didn’t start making friends of my own, but I realized I was falling into deep relationships gradually and organically.  We have a cottage on our property, and we encouraged a friend of ours from the mainland, Shena, to move with us and live there. Shena is gregarious, easily making new friends and bringing them in to our new Ohana.

We were thrilled to meet all our neighbors who are now close friends.  And when we had an abundance of tropical fruit growing in our garden, we created Produce Share which has met at my house on Fridays from five to six for seven years now so we can all share what we are growing in our gardens. And I started taking exercise classes and art classes and met even more friends.  I discovered that friends on Hawaii are different from friends I had before I moved here.

Friendships on Hawaii are filled with the Aloha spirit. This online definition embraces this spirit: “Aloha” is the essence of relationships in which each person is important to every other person for collective existence. “Aloha” means to hear what is not said, to see what cannot be seen, and to know the unknowable.”

Naturally when friends come together, they become “Ohana” which is the Hawaii word for family. We all are members of at least one Ohana, and often we are members of several.

The awareness that I became a part of the Ohana that formed around Ron and I when we moved here was profound, wrapping me with love, comfort, and support. During and after Ron’s final days, my Ohana lifted me up allowing me to know I was not alone and that I was deeply loved.

I am recovering now from a malady that wasn’t specifically diagnosed but left me weak and without appetite. My Ohana, which also reaches to friends on the mainland, took care of me.  While I was weak and mostly sleeping, they assured I had transportation for appointments, food to eat, and the medical care I needed. One dear friend even combed the knotty mass my hair had turned into from spending so much time in bed, which was no easy task.  Other friends facilitated the meetings I usually did.

Today as I reflect on the Aloha spirit and my Ohana, I am deeply grateful, and I invite you to join my Ohana and discover or develop the Ohana you are already a part of. I consider our Grief and Happiness Alliance and Nonprofit Organization one of the Ohanas I am a part of which also has members that overlap into other Ohanas I am part of.

When your life is centered on family (chosen or not) and love, Aloha and Ohana brings great happiness into your life.

 

Who is your Ohana?

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

The Key to Happiness

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I recently heard that the key to happiness has only five words: Do the things you love. How simple, yet profound.  I decided to make a list of things I do, or have done, that make me happy. Once I got started with my list. I couldn’t stop! I’ll share some of my list here to give you some ideas.

I love being outdoors, sitting on my lanai listening to the birds, walking on the beach where I live in Maui, watching the sunrises and sunsets from my home.

I love traveling to places like Tuscany, Bali, and Maui which led me to moving here.

I love writing so I have taught writing for many years and have written six books. Nurturing my students as their love for writing grows makes me happy.

I love cooking which led me to become a certified vegan chef, to teach cooking classes, and to entertain my friends and family. And I co-owned a café and catering company.

I love to grow food and flowers that I can share, so I created Produce Share where neighbors meet every week at my home to share the abundance of our gardens. And I joined Hawaii Farmer’s Union United so I can learn so much more about gardening in Hawaii

I have loved everything about live theatre since I first stepped on stage as Tiny Tim’s big brother in A Christmas Carol at the Barn Theater when I was in fourth grade.  I have since acted, directed, designed, produced, and have done just about everything that can be done in theatre including having my own theatre and school of arts.

I love community service and have served on many nonprofit boards and founded the Grief and Happiness Nonprofit Organization.

I love to be creative and enjoy ceramic sculpting, weaving, drawing, painting, sewing, cake decorating, jewelry making, and taking classes in all these areas.

This list is just a start.  I keep thinking of more and more things that I do that I love. Even thinking about all the things I love just gets me thinking about more things I love, and I can’t help but smile and focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life.

While life is not always rosy, when I start to feel a little down or negative, I can always add more items to my Things I Love list, and that brings me right back up.

My challenge for you today is to start your own Things I Love list.  And while it’s great to think about this, writing it down is even better, then you can always refer to and add to this list bring even more happiness into your life.

Enjoy!

 

Watch this little video My Favorite Things

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

The Magic of Kindness

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I’m sure we have all had times when we don’t feel our best for one reason or another. When that happens, we have a choice. We can remain sad, or grumpy, or just feeling bad, or we can figure out how to do something about it.

I have been under the weather for a couple of weeks. Lots of symptoms and very weak. And I have experienced loving kindness in ways I never have before. Friends check up on me by email or text. Others just say yes if I ask for anything like a ride to the doctor or to pick up medication at the drugstore.

One dear friend who has worn dreadlocks for years smiled as he told me I look rasta. I realized then that I hadn’t been combing my hair. I’ve been very weak, and looking in the mirror, I kind of panicked! I was concerned that a new very short hairstyle was in my future. I called the stylist who cuts my hair occasionally. She said not to worry.  She would come to my home and knew how to comb it out without damage. What a relief.

A dear neighbor drops by with perfect little meals for me that taste so good even when I don’t feel like eating. And a doctor friend and nurse practitioner friend each helped navigate the medical system to get me what I needed. And a minister/nurse dear friend checked on me from far away regularly for much needed moral support.

All of this was so wonderful, and I don’t know what I would do without any of it. But the real magic came when two very special people came from the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization board to facilitate the meetings we have every Sunday for those dealing with loss. With no voice or energy, I could only watch from the background, and I was amazed by the compassion, support, and love all the participants shared as they reflected on their experiences with unconditional love they have had while dealing with their grief.

Humbled and in tears, I recognized the immense value of these meetings and the importance of the work we do to bring these gatherings to people at no charge. My strong intention is to spread this movement all over the world to make this loving kindness available to all.

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has been helping me along this journey. I know I will get better, and when I do, I hope you’ll join me in bringing loving kindness to all.

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

I’m sure we have all had times when we don’t feel our best for one reason or another. When that happens, we have a choice. We can remain sad, or grumpy, or just feeling bad, or we can figure out how to do something about it.

 

I have been under the weather for a couple of weeks. Lots of symptoms and very weak. And I have experienced loving kindness in ways I never have before. Friends check up on me by email or text. Others just say yes if I ask for anything like a ride to the doctor or to pick up medication at the drugstore.

 

One dear friend who has worn dreadlocks for years smiled as he told me I look rasta. I realized then that I hadn’t been combing my hair. I’ve been very weak, and looking in the mirror, I kind of panicked! I was concerned that a new very short hairstyle was in my future. I called the stylist who cuts my hair occasionally. She said not to worry.  She would come to my home and knew how to comb it out without damage. What a relief.

 

A dear neighbor drops by with perfect little meals for me that taste so good even when I don’t feel like eating. And a doctor friend and nurse practitioner friend each helped navigate the medical system to get me what I needed. And a minister/nurse dear friend checked on me from far away regularly for much needed moral support.

 

All of this was so wonderful, and I don’t know what I would do without any of it. But the real magic came when two very special people came from the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization board to facilitate the meetings we have every Sunday for those dealing with loss. With no voice or energy, I could only watch from the background, and I was amazed by the compassion, support, and love all the participants shared as they reflected on their experiences with unconditional love they have had while dealing with their grief.

 

Humbled and in tears, I recognized the immense value of these meetings and the importance of the work we do to bring these gatherings to people at no charge. My strong intention is to spread this movement all over the world to make this loving kindness available to all.

 

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has been helping me along this journey. I know I will get better, and when I do, I hope you’ll join me in bringing loving kindness to all.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by CLICKING HERE

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by CLICKING HERE

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by CLICKING HERE at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, HERE

You can order the International Best-Selling book that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by CLICKING HERE

 

 

Playing

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I was on a Zoom call this week with someone who I have been working with on a big project. I said something that indicated my age, and she was shocked. She was just amazed that I am as old as I am. I was tickled, but it led me to think about how I appear to people. I started thinking about people I know who are years younger than I am, but to me they seem older.  I also have friends who are older that I am who look younger. I wondered why this happens.

My mother seemed older than her years, and I attribute that to beliefs she had of how things should be. She wore her hair short and had it done at a beauty salon every week where it was sprayed so heavily that it looked the same by the next week when she returned to have it done again. When I reached a certain age, she encouraged me to do the same. She was so disappointed that I let my hair grown long.  She also dressed a certain way that she deemed appropriate for her age.

My mother’s example to me was inspiration to do the opposite. I love to wear bright colors in any style I choose.  I wear basically shorts and sundresses since I live in Hawaii. I love game night with friends. I love to be outside and go for walks to enjoy the wonders of Maui. And I still teach writing online at California State University in Bakersfield, so I am frequently interacting with young people and having great conversations.

How would you define “acting your age”? Sometimes I feel old when I don’t have the energy I’d like, and other times I feel ageless when laughing with friends.  I love the creative challenge of keeping up with my social media for my book and the Grief and Happiness Alliance. I also love taking classes in anything that interests me like speed reading and drawing. And I love to get lost in a good book or movie. I smile much when I am doing any of these things.

All I enjoy doing feels like playing to me. I do what I love to do, not what I have to do. I heard someone say, “It’s not that you stop playing because you are getting older, it’s that you get older because you stop playing.” That rings true for me. Playing brings much happiness to my life, so I play lots and feel so much younger than my birth date says.

I hope you play too!

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

 

 

Finding Happiness During The Holidays

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If you are anticipating that your holidays will not be the same as they were before, you are correct. They won’t be the same, yet when you look at all your holidays past, none of them were the same. Now is the time to take really good care of yourself and create the holidays you would like to have this year.

Consider what is most important to you during the season. Prioritize what you would love to experience.  Here are some ideas.

  • What holiday event have you always wanted to go to but for some reason, it didn’t fit into your plans in the past.
    • Have you been to a live performance of the Nutcracker Ballet?
    • How about a performance of Handle’s Messiah?
    • Maybe there is a local play or choir concert.
  • What could you do to serve those less fortunate where you live?
    • Maybe you could plan a pampering day for women in a local shelter.
    • If you’d like a big holiday dinner, who can you invite who would have been alone at dinner time?
    • Is there a local food drive you could make a part of your new holiday tradition?
  • Maybe you could do something special for the children in your family or neighborhood.
    • Gathering children to do a craft project to create a paper chain where they write their wishes on the links could be fun.
    • You could gather some children and read positive stories to them.
    • You could accompany children to go caroling around the neighborhood or to a senior center
    • Schedule selfcare just to pamper you.
    • Schedule a manicure or a facial.
    • Invite a friend you’d love to spend some time with to coffee or to lunch.
    • Go someplace you have never been before for the holidays

On every holiday, I write a letter to who I am grieving. In my case, there are several people, so there are several letters.  I take my time with each letter writing out whatever I want to tell them.  Sometimes I have tears when I write the letters, and just as often, I smile.  I open my heart and reflect on how my life is going, and most times, despite some sorrow, I feel better each time I write the letters.

My favorite part of my letter writing is that after I write each letter, I write a second letter from the person I wrote to back to me. I don’t think about what I write or judge what I am saying.  I just let my thoughts flow, and when I finish the letter, I take a deep breath, and then I read that letter.  This is a time of discovery for me. I reflect on the depth of love, respect, caring, and kindness of the loved ones I am corresponding with. And I know each of them is always in my heart forever.

Instead of anticipating sorrow for the season, focus on planning joy. Focus on your precious self. When you take good care of yourself first, you can relish in the discover of the joy and positivity that will flow your way.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, here:

https://smile.amazon.com/Ignite-Forgiveness-Journey-Peace-Harmony-ebook/dp/B0BLFCYYD6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9C6VAFE42H5C&keywords=ignite+forgiveness+book&qid=1669836040&sprefix=Ignite+forg%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

 

Making the Internet World Smile

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I woke up the morning with some of the lyrics of the Beatles song A Day in Life running through my head. “I read the news today, oh boy . . . .” only I had read the news last night on Instagram.  Leslie Jordan died in a single car accident after apparently having a medical event.

I met Leslie in 1983 just after he arrived in California with dreams of being a movie star. We worked together at The Great American Melodrama in Bakersfield, California, he as an actor, singer, dancer, and me, a theatre major in college, being in charge of costume maintenance. Leslie was 4’ 11” tall and I am 6’ tall, so we made quite a pair.

Leslie constantly kept us all laughing with his raunchy sense of humor, and the audiences just loved him. One night he was standing next to me looking up and he said in his adorable lilting Tennessee accent, “I just want to thank you for keeping our costumes mended and clean so we can look and smell good for our fans. I really appreciate what you do for us.” He was the only person to ever thank me for doing that work.

Leslie went on to Hollywood and ultimately became the star he wanted to be earning an Emmy for his role in Will and Grace, but most people will remember him for his kind heart. He was a volunteer during the AIDS crisis bringing comfort to so many people.

During the pandemic, wanting to cheer people up, Leslie became a mega star on Instagram having 5.8 million followers and almost a thousand posts. With everyone being on lockdown, Leslie started posting as “thelesliejordan” at least twice a day doing whatever he could think of to cheer us all up.

With his “Make them laugh” personality,  Leslie brought so much joy into the lives of so many. I miss you already Leslie, and I, and all your fans, will forever.

In Leslie’s honor, let’s all make someone smile today.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763