Gratitude

The Key to Happiness

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I recently heard that the key to happiness has only five words: Do the things you love. How simple, yet profound.  I decided to make a list of things I do, or have done, that make me happy. Once I got started with my list. I couldn’t stop! I’ll share some of my list here to give you some ideas.

I love being outdoors, sitting on my lanai listening to the birds, walking on the beach where I live in Maui, watching the sunrises and sunsets from my home.

I love traveling to places like Tuscany, Bali, and Maui which led me to moving here.

I love writing so I have taught writing for many years and have written six books. Nurturing my students as their love for writing grows makes me happy.

I love cooking which led me to become a certified vegan chef, to teach cooking classes, and to entertain my friends and family. And I co-owned a café and catering company.

I love to grow food and flowers that I can share, so I created Produce Share where neighbors meet every week at my home to share the abundance of our gardens. And I joined Hawaii Farmer’s Union United so I can learn so much more about gardening in Hawaii

I have loved everything about live theatre since I first stepped on stage as Tiny Tim’s big brother in A Christmas Carol at the Barn Theater when I was in fourth grade.  I have since acted, directed, designed, produced, and have done just about everything that can be done in theatre including having my own theatre and school of arts.

I love community service and have served on many nonprofit boards and founded the Grief and Happiness Nonprofit Organization.

I love to be creative and enjoy ceramic sculpting, weaving, drawing, painting, sewing, cake decorating, jewelry making, and taking classes in all these areas.

This list is just a start.  I keep thinking of more and more things that I do that I love. Even thinking about all the things I love just gets me thinking about more things I love, and I can’t help but smile and focus on all the wonder and beauty in my life.

While life is not always rosy, when I start to feel a little down or negative, I can always add more items to my Things I Love list, and that brings me right back up.

My challenge for you today is to start your own Things I Love list.  And while it’s great to think about this, writing it down is even better, then you can always refer to and add to this list bring even more happiness into your life.

Enjoy!

 

Watch this little video My Favorite Things

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

The Magic of Kindness

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I’m sure we have all had times when we don’t feel our best for one reason or another. When that happens, we have a choice. We can remain sad, or grumpy, or just feeling bad, or we can figure out how to do something about it.

I have been under the weather for a couple of weeks. Lots of symptoms and very weak. And I have experienced loving kindness in ways I never have before. Friends check up on me by email or text. Others just say yes if I ask for anything like a ride to the doctor or to pick up medication at the drugstore.

One dear friend who has worn dreadlocks for years smiled as he told me I look rasta. I realized then that I hadn’t been combing my hair. I’ve been very weak, and looking in the mirror, I kind of panicked! I was concerned that a new very short hairstyle was in my future. I called the stylist who cuts my hair occasionally. She said not to worry.  She would come to my home and knew how to comb it out without damage. What a relief.

A dear neighbor drops by with perfect little meals for me that taste so good even when I don’t feel like eating. And a doctor friend and nurse practitioner friend each helped navigate the medical system to get me what I needed. And a minister/nurse dear friend checked on me from far away regularly for much needed moral support.

All of this was so wonderful, and I don’t know what I would do without any of it. But the real magic came when two very special people came from the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization board to facilitate the meetings we have every Sunday for those dealing with loss. With no voice or energy, I could only watch from the background, and I was amazed by the compassion, support, and love all the participants shared as they reflected on their experiences with unconditional love they have had while dealing with their grief.

Humbled and in tears, I recognized the immense value of these meetings and the importance of the work we do to bring these gatherings to people at no charge. My strong intention is to spread this movement all over the world to make this loving kindness available to all.

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has been helping me along this journey. I know I will get better, and when I do, I hope you’ll join me in bringing loving kindness to all.

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

I’m sure we have all had times when we don’t feel our best for one reason or another. When that happens, we have a choice. We can remain sad, or grumpy, or just feeling bad, or we can figure out how to do something about it.

 

I have been under the weather for a couple of weeks. Lots of symptoms and very weak. And I have experienced loving kindness in ways I never have before. Friends check up on me by email or text. Others just say yes if I ask for anything like a ride to the doctor or to pick up medication at the drugstore.

 

One dear friend who has worn dreadlocks for years smiled as he told me I look rasta. I realized then that I hadn’t been combing my hair. I’ve been very weak, and looking in the mirror, I kind of panicked! I was concerned that a new very short hairstyle was in my future. I called the stylist who cuts my hair occasionally. She said not to worry.  She would come to my home and knew how to comb it out without damage. What a relief.

 

A dear neighbor drops by with perfect little meals for me that taste so good even when I don’t feel like eating. And a doctor friend and nurse practitioner friend each helped navigate the medical system to get me what I needed. And a minister/nurse dear friend checked on me from far away regularly for much needed moral support.

 

All of this was so wonderful, and I don’t know what I would do without any of it. But the real magic came when two very special people came from the Grief and Happiness Alliance Nonprofit Organization board to facilitate the meetings we have every Sunday for those dealing with loss. With no voice or energy, I could only watch from the background, and I was amazed by the compassion, support, and love all the participants shared as they reflected on their experiences with unconditional love they have had while dealing with their grief.

 

Humbled and in tears, I recognized the immense value of these meetings and the importance of the work we do to bring these gatherings to people at no charge. My strong intention is to spread this movement all over the world to make this loving kindness available to all.

 

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has been helping me along this journey. I know I will get better, and when I do, I hope you’ll join me in bringing loving kindness to all.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by CLICKING HERE

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by CLICKING HERE

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by CLICKING HERE at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, HERE

You can order the International Best-Selling book that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by CLICKING HERE

 

 

Playing

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I was on a Zoom call this week with someone who I have been working with on a big project. I said something that indicated my age, and she was shocked. She was just amazed that I am as old as I am. I was tickled, but it led me to think about how I appear to people. I started thinking about people I know who are years younger than I am, but to me they seem older.  I also have friends who are older that I am who look younger. I wondered why this happens.

My mother seemed older than her years, and I attribute that to beliefs she had of how things should be. She wore her hair short and had it done at a beauty salon every week where it was sprayed so heavily that it looked the same by the next week when she returned to have it done again. When I reached a certain age, she encouraged me to do the same. She was so disappointed that I let my hair grown long.  She also dressed a certain way that she deemed appropriate for her age.

My mother’s example to me was inspiration to do the opposite. I love to wear bright colors in any style I choose.  I wear basically shorts and sundresses since I live in Hawaii. I love game night with friends. I love to be outside and go for walks to enjoy the wonders of Maui. And I still teach writing online at California State University in Bakersfield, so I am frequently interacting with young people and having great conversations.

How would you define “acting your age”? Sometimes I feel old when I don’t have the energy I’d like, and other times I feel ageless when laughing with friends.  I love the creative challenge of keeping up with my social media for my book and the Grief and Happiness Alliance. I also love taking classes in anything that interests me like speed reading and drawing. And I love to get lost in a good book or movie. I smile much when I am doing any of these things.

All I enjoy doing feels like playing to me. I do what I love to do, not what I have to do. I heard someone say, “It’s not that you stop playing because you are getting older, it’s that you get older because you stop playing.” That rings true for me. Playing brings much happiness to my life, so I play lots and feel so much younger than my birth date says.

I hope you play too!

 

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here.

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, by clicking here

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, by clicking here

 

 

Finding Happiness During The Holidays

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If you are anticipating that your holidays will not be the same as they were before, you are correct. They won’t be the same, yet when you look at all your holidays past, none of them were the same. Now is the time to take really good care of yourself and create the holidays you would like to have this year.

Consider what is most important to you during the season. Prioritize what you would love to experience.  Here are some ideas.

  • What holiday event have you always wanted to go to but for some reason, it didn’t fit into your plans in the past.
    • Have you been to a live performance of the Nutcracker Ballet?
    • How about a performance of Handle’s Messiah?
    • Maybe there is a local play or choir concert.
  • What could you do to serve those less fortunate where you live?
    • Maybe you could plan a pampering day for women in a local shelter.
    • If you’d like a big holiday dinner, who can you invite who would have been alone at dinner time?
    • Is there a local food drive you could make a part of your new holiday tradition?
  • Maybe you could do something special for the children in your family or neighborhood.
    • Gathering children to do a craft project to create a paper chain where they write their wishes on the links could be fun.
    • You could gather some children and read positive stories to them.
    • You could accompany children to go caroling around the neighborhood or to a senior center
    • Schedule selfcare just to pamper you.
    • Schedule a manicure or a facial.
    • Invite a friend you’d love to spend some time with to coffee or to lunch.
    • Go someplace you have never been before for the holidays

On every holiday, I write a letter to who I am grieving. In my case, there are several people, so there are several letters.  I take my time with each letter writing out whatever I want to tell them.  Sometimes I have tears when I write the letters, and just as often, I smile.  I open my heart and reflect on how my life is going, and most times, despite some sorrow, I feel better each time I write the letters.

My favorite part of my letter writing is that after I write each letter, I write a second letter from the person I wrote to back to me. I don’t think about what I write or judge what I am saying.  I just let my thoughts flow, and when I finish the letter, I take a deep breath, and then I read that letter.  This is a time of discovery for me. I reflect on the depth of love, respect, caring, and kindness of the loved ones I am corresponding with. And I know each of them is always in my heart forever.

Instead of anticipating sorrow for the season, focus on planning joy. Focus on your precious self. When you take good care of yourself first, you can relish in the discover of the joy and positivity that will flow your way.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, here:

https://smile.amazon.com/Ignite-Forgiveness-Journey-Peace-Harmony-ebook/dp/B0BLFCYYD6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9C6VAFE42H5C&keywords=ignite+forgiveness+book&qid=1669836040&sprefix=Ignite+forg%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

 

Stuck

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When I read what people are saying in some of the grief groups I follow, I notice that many people are stuck in their grief. The gist of what I hear is that people feel that if they lighten up on their grief, they somehow will lose the connection with their loved one who died.  The people who express this seem so sad, unable to connect with their new situation of their loved one’s passing. They seem to feel that they must stay sad because being happy in their situation feels like a betrayal to their loved one.

I was writing the other day about how my husbands would like for me to deal with my life now. In the process of writing, I felt my husbands smiling at me, so I started to smile while I was writing. When that happened, I realized that my husbands would want me to be happy. I remembered how when we first got together, Ron was always telling me to smile.  I was so serious then. As I looked in the mirror, I could see how much better I looked when I was smiling, and that smiling actually was making me feel better, lighter, and happy.

All of us people grieving will experience periods of yearning or sadness.  The key is to recognize these feelings, experience them, thank them, then release them and smile even if smiling is a challenge.  When we stay stuck in these feelings, that is all we are concentrating on.  Time goes on, and we aren’t moving forward with it because all we can think about is our loved one. When you find yourself falling into this abyss, take a few slow, deep breaths to center yourself, and commit to yourself to release those feelings.  And when they come back, do this again.  The more you recognize what you are doing, the easier it will be to deal with your feelings.

Make your journal your friend.  When you start feeling that sadness, anxiety, or yearning, write about what you are feeling. Include why you are feeling the way you are right now. What triggered this feeling?  For instance, if whenever you eat apple pie, you remember how much your loved one loved apple pie and always had to have two servings each time you made it. You find yourself feeling blue when you remember this.  Take some time to explore this feeling. My main memory of apple pie was how much I enjoyed making apple pie because Ron loved it so much, and it made him smile. Instead of staying stuck in that sadness you I was feeling, I could smile at the happiness of the memory.  You will be amazed how you can shift your reaction to your memories in a positive way so that you can release the sadness and replace it with the good memory.

I challenge you to pick up your journal each time you start feeling the negative emotions and find the joy in the experience you remember. Focus on that joy, and in the process, release that sadness.  The more you do this, the happier you will become until you find yourself naturally feeling the happiness while releasing the negativity.

You can do this.  You can be happy.  Your loved one would want you to be happy.

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon:

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763

You can order the International Best Selling book in 9 countries that I wrote a chapter in, Ignite Forgiveness, here:

https://smile.amazon.com/Ignite-Forgiveness-Journey-Peace-Harmony-ebook/dp/B0BLFCYYD6/ref=sr_1_1?crid=9C6VAFE42H5C&keywords=ignite+forgiveness+book&qid=1669836040&sprefix=Ignite+forg%2Caps%2C284&sr=8-1

 

Appreciation

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I love Marci Shimoff. She wrote Happy For No Reason, a book that changed my life. After Jacques died, I was miserable. I hadn’t smiled in months and could barely take care of myself. I had several significant health issues, and I just didn’t know where to turn.  I came across Marci’s book and thought, “I have no reason to be happy, so this book must be for me.” I read the book with a chip on my shoulder challenging myself to see if there really was anything I could do to raise my spirits. Marci’s examples of people who had problems that seemed so much worse than mine who still could find happiness helped me decide I could be happy too.

After Ron transitioned, I was so much better prepared and actively looked for what I could do for not only me to be happy, but how I could bring happiness to other people who were grieving too.  I wrote a book, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief, and that was a start, but I was hungry for more.  That’s when I discovered Marci’s Happy For No Reason Certified Trainer Program.  This was it! I just knew that taking the course would at least bring me more happiness, but it helped me fulfill my purpose of helping others to be happy too.

I learned so much from Marci, her course, and her book, and I found ways to incorporate happiness into everything I do including creating the Grief and Happiness podcast and the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Zoom where people with the commonality of grieving come together to make friends, write, and learn ways to incorporate so much more happiness in their lives.  I know I am fulfilling my purpose in life now with all I am doing.

Marci shared how her family celebrated Thanksgiving.  In the past, everyone at the table has expressed something they are grateful for.  I love this, but Marci takes it a step further. Each person at the table tells every other person what they appreciate about that person.  How wonderful is that?  Everyone present gets to be showered with love and kindness, and they also get to reflect that appreciation back to their loved ones at the table.  I plan to do this now. And I plan to take it a step further by expressing my appreciation for the special people in my life who no longer sit at the table with us.

Appreciation and happiness go hand it hand. We don’t have to wait for Thanksgiving to celebrate the wonders of each other. Celebrating that appreciation with the people we chose to spend our time with magnifies the joy in all our lives.

Thank you, Marci, for your inspiration!

Who do you appreciate today?

 

 

Get your Awaken Your Happiness Journaling Guide at no charge by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/pl/2147595767

You can join the Grief and Happiness Alliance which meets weekly on Sundays by clicking here: https://www.griefandhappiness.com/offers/ytK7eLBa

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief by clicking here at Amazon.

https://www.amazon.com/Loving-Living-Your-Though-Grief/dp/1642504823/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1658356016&sr=8-1

You can listen to my podcast, Grief and Happiness, here. https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/loving-and-living-your-way-through-grief-with/id1509589686?i=1000535381763