The Grief and Happiness Alliance

writing through grief

A Different Way to Deal With Grief

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Ron transitioned 4 years ago today, so I am thinking about him lots. Fortunately, I journal every day, so I can go back through my journals and read about special times we had together and great accomplishments we shared.  I find myself losing memories that have held a special place in my heart, and I am sure I haven’t recorded everything I would like to have. I am writing more every day to I can access those special memories I love.

I do write to Ron whenever I yearn to feel close to him, and today is an ideal day for that. I will write a letter just as if he would be receiving it in the mail from me. I always start with expressing the depths of my love and my gratitude for our life together. I tell him about what I am doing, and I ask him for guidance, inspiration, and advice.  After I complete the letter, I write a letter from him back to me.  I don’t think about what I am going to say, rather I just let the words flow, and I am always grateful that he answers all the questions that I have.

This form of writing is called Automatic Writing. I learned about it long ago, and I have been learning much more lately.  This letter writing technique is a favorite of the people who join me in my Writing Through Grief groups. They love it because they can ask questions they didn’t get to while their loved one was still here with them, and they are touched and helped by the replies.

I can’t tell you for sure where those return letters come from. They could be coming from memories stored in my heart or mind, or they could be coming from beyond where your loved one now resides. And some feel that the letters come from God. Where they come from isn’t as significant as the fact that they do come. All you need to do is to be open to the idea that this communication happens, then write whatever you want to.

I just finished reading the book The Automatic Writing Experience (AWE) by Michael Sandler. I highly recommend this book. It has taken my journaling to a much deeper place, and I easily write more every day. And while it helps, you really don’t need training to do this.  All you need is an open heart, an open mind, a pen, and something to write on.

This writing experience has brought me much comfort. I hope it will for you, too. Please tell me of your experiences with this.

Write on!

 

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief  by clicking here at Amazon.

I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.

Join my Facebook group here.

Freedom

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Thinking about the Fourth of July coming up, Rickie Byars song Freedom keeps running through my head.  You can listen to it by going to this link https://youtu.be/fJ91GMXLggA.  I’ve been thinking about what Freedom means to me, so I made a list:

 

Freedom to live where we want to

Freedom to love who we want to

Freedom to eat what we enjoy

Freedom to pursue the education we want

Freedom to vote for who we want to

Freedom to exercise

Freedom to dress how we want to

Freedom to believe what we want to

Freedom to choose our friends

 

That’s a very short list. Living in the United States, we have more freedoms than most of the world.  I am grateful for the freedoms we have, and at the same time, I think about how wonderful if the whole world could be free.  Wouldn’t it be great for everyone to have these freedoms:

 

Freedom to have adequate, nutritious food

Freedom to have adequate medical care

Freedom to have truth in government

Freedom to have genuine equality

Freedom to have adequate shelter

Freedom to travel anywhere

Freedom to not have to depend on money

 

Again, I could go on and on creating a world-wide utopia in my head. The world would be even more beautiful than it already is. The thing is, if we all join together, we can make progress toward creating a more perfect world.

 

This Independence Day, take some time to celebrate your freedom. And take a step forward to generate more independence for all!

 

What is your favorite freedom?

What will you do to help generate more freedom?

I’d love to know–

 

 

You can order Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief  by clicking here at Amazon.

I would be happy to put you on the reminder list for or Writing Together Through Grief occurring on Saturdays each week by sending an email to me to emily@lovingandlivingyourwaythroughgrief.com and giving me your email address.

Join my Facebook group here.

Growing From Your Loss

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When someone you love dies, everything changes. Initially you have deep yearning for things to go to how they were when you both were healthy and living the life you dreamed of. Now you know that not possible, and you may be struggling to know what to do now. That happened for me. I set my intention to be inspired with what my next steps were supposed to be. 

My inspiration didn’t come all at once. Instead I moved forward one step at a time. I always loved writing, so that was my natural place to start. I wrote in my journal today. I didn’t worry about thinking of something to write about. I made lots of things that brought joy to my life in spite of my sorrow, and there was lots to write about. I still write things that bring me joy every day.  

I also write gratitude lists which also have never ending inspiration. People grieving can easily fall into the hole of negativity, of poor me. When you focus on joy and gratitude, that leaves less space for sorrow. And I do still write my gratitude lists everyday.

At the times I really wanted to talk to Ron, to have his guidance or his opinion about something, I wrote him a letter. I would pour my heart out just like I was talking to him. Those letters could get long! When I finished, I often wrote a letter from him back to me. I choose to think he’s inspiring my words, but even if this words come from deep in my heart or from the resources of the deep knowledge in my mind, I do find answers and inspiration in these letters. 

When Ron’s good friend Chappy died, I started writing his wife every week for the first year, a process that helped both of us.  And these letters inspired the book I wrote, Loving and Living Your Way Through Grief which is being published by Mango Press. 

The growth through loss that I am experiencing is through writing. You growth can come through what you most love. The key is to focus on what is positive, what brings joy to your life. There’s no need to rush here, Baby steps can lead your way.  What do you love? What brings you joy? Do everything related to that.

Say you loved to cook, but you stopped when you just had you to cook for. That can be changed to I deserve beautiful healthy foods to nourish me, then find recipes for one, or create them. Save each new recipe you try to use again, and maybe that will even lead to a cookbook. I might just create one I can just print from my computer and share with my friends when they start cooking for one.

Maybe your refuge is your garden or your art or craft supplies. See how this ca inspire you. Any of these can keep you busy. Or maybe it’s time to change jobs, or take classes, or join an organization that interests you. A friend sent me a card long ago that said Bloom Where You’re Planted.  Take care of yourself now. Learn, grow, bloom!

 

For a sneak peak of my new book, click here!